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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, May 11, 2007

COMMENTARY
Neurotics have enough to worry about

By Randye Hoder

WEB BRYANT | USA Today

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I used to believe unequivocally in the free flow of information. That is, until I read about a study published in this month's issue of Psychological Science that found neurotic men are more likely than non-neurotic men to worry themselves to death. Literally.

Call me crazy, but this seems like information that should — as a public health service — be kept under wraps. After all, neurotics worry. A lot. Discovering that we're more likely to die than our laid-back counterparts is not going to turn us into stress-free, easygoing Type-B personalities. It's just one more thing to fret over.

In the ultimate Catch-22, the research out of Purdue University found that neurotics had an even greater risk of an early demise if their level of neuroticism grew worse over the 12-year course of the study. By contrast, those who mellowed with age (as measured by a standardized personality test) were more likely to live longer.

Could there be a more compelling reason to bury this thing? Neuroticism — defined as excessive anxiety and emotional upset — is obviously going to intensify if a neurotic learns that he's apt to die from it!

Besides, the study is flawed. That's because its authors have focused on the good news. (Obviously, they're not neurotics.) They figure that if mortality increases with neuroticism, it can go down by keeping one's neuroses in check — the same way that somebody can decrease the risk of a heart attack by lowering his blood pressure or cholesterol.

"Very neurotic people can work toward dealing better with stress," said Daniel Mroczek, an associate professor at Purdue who led the study. He suggested that neurotics seek therapy, take up yoga, schedule daily walks, listen to soothing music and meditate.

Clearly, he has no idea who he's dealing with.

I, for one, am pretty sure that I could cut my cholesterol with a change in diet and exercise, maybe even reduce my blood pressure. But meditate myself into a relaxed, carefree person? I don't think so. I tried meditation once and spent the whole time thinking how silly I looked and sounded chanting om mani padme hum can. Then I started worrying about what I wasn't getting done because I was meditating.

I failed at yoga, too. Yes, I know that yoga is not a competitive sport and that I'm not supposed to use the words "yoga" and "fail" in the same sentence. But that's exactly my point.

As for therapy, I'm not currently in it, but that's only because it's expensive and time-consuming. However, let's be honest. Most serial neurotics make a lifelong commitment to the couch, for all the good it does them.

I was briefly calmed knowing that the study's participants were middle-aged and older white men; I hoped for a gender loophole. But Mroczek asserts that there's little reason to believe the results would be different for women.

Once I realized this, I instantly became extremely anxious and emotionally upset. There was only one thing left to do. I grabbed my iPod, downloaded a little Windham Hill for the walk to my neighborhood yoga center and made a mental note to call the shrink when I got home.

Randye Hoder is a writer living in Los Angeles. He wrote this commentary for the Los Angeles Times.