When I was a child, my parents found fairly frequent reason to tell me that I was a small fish in a big pond. Sometimes, to keep me on my toes, they would tell me that I was getting too big for my britches and if I did not "size" myself to my britches, they would have to "size" them to me. Those reminders and admonitions kept my self-esteem in check, as they were always delivered when I was acting inconsiderate, prideful, and the like.

I turn 60 this year — hard to believe since I feel just as good as I did when I was 25, maybe even better. When I reminisce about my childhood with other people my age, I never fail to discover we all had pretty much the same experiences. We all were expected to do chores around the house. We were not paid for doing these chores, but we were punished if we did not. Our parents were not "involved" with us, and none of us can imagine anything more oppressive to a child than to have parents who feel the need to be constantly doing something with or for you. Our parents did not help us with our homework or our science projects, yet at every grade we performed at a higher level than today's kids. And nearly all of us were told on some regular basis that we were small fish in big ponds and that we were getting too big for our britches.

It's evident to people my age that today's kids are allowed to think it's all about them. That's understandable, because if you talk to today's parents about their kids, it's obvious that the typical modern parent thinks his/her kid is not just a big fish, but the only fish that matters. I have concluded that the reason today's kids wear britches that are absurdly outsized is so they can never get too big for them. All too many of today's kids are allowed to be rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful. This was all brought home to me on Easter Day.

Every Easter, after church, Willie and I take our entire family — five adults and six children — to a nice eatin' place where most folks come dressed in their Sunday best. As Willie and I approached the entrance, a car pulled up and discharged a teenage girl who looked like she was mimicking some actress she'd seen getting out of a limo at the Oscars. At the entrance stood her grandmother. The girl walked up, opened the door and instead of holding it for her grandmother, she walked on through. I held the door for Grandma, who managed to hold on to a waning smile.

Inside, I witnessed at least three children, all old enough to know better, push rudely in front of adults, one of whom nearly tripped and fell. Needless to say, not one "excuse me" was uttered, except by the adult who almost fell.

On all of these occasions, parents stood silent witness to children who acted like it was all about them. I suppose they didn't say anything for fear of lowering their kids' self-esteem. Unfortunately, the best research makes it clear that high self-esteem is associated with anti-social behavior, of which bad manners are just the tip of the iceberg.

The world was a much better place when children were little fishes who dared not get too big for their britches (swimsuits?), but perhaps such nostalgia is the province of those who are about to turn 60.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions at www.rosemond.com.