Turner Classic Movies was recently showing the film, "I Bury the Living." I thought the title clever and creepy, but it also made me think of how we as living, breathing human beings are sometimes buried under various weights that are a part of life itself.

One weight our culture seems to want to throw off is the Ten Commandments.

The Christian tradition teaches that God, in writing the Ten Commandments, giving the law, meant for them not to be rules that people followed religiously but to draw respect to the law-giver and, as such, be a guide to bring people to himself. He knew that no one could perfectly keep the Ten Commandments and it was his intention that they drive people to a humble confession of their need for divine help in living right lives.

A study of the prodigal son found in Luke 15: 11-24 shows his love for his wayward son but it also shows the attitude of the legalistic elder son who preferred doing right. He didn't cash in his inheritance and he failed then to understand his father's welcoming attitude to the son who had squandered his inheritance.

The elder son did not understand the heart of the father: Self-righteousness is an enemy of grace.

From the play "Les Misérables," we hear Javert, the policeman who has been chasing Jean Valjean over the years, sing his suicide song, in which he says, "Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief. I am the law and the law is not mocked." Javert didn't understand Valjean, whom he couldn't forgive, forgiving and allowing Javert to go free rather than killing him when he had the chance.

It so turned Javert's world upside down that he killed himself rather than accept Valjean's grace. He preferred to perish by his hand than to accept Valjean's mercy. Self-righteousness is an enemy of grace.

What is the lesson here? God desires a relationship with us, not a sacrificial following of rules, not a practice of religion but an individual and personal relationship with each and every one of us. He wants us to accept his grace. We can't do it ourselves; when we try to we become legalistic like the elder son or Javert. When we try to be good, try to keep the Ten Commandments, struggle to keep the law, we are going it alone.

Are the Ten Commandments good? Yes they are vital — because they show us the way, a way that is different from our own way that leads us to the law-giver. Not because we have kept the law but because we are incapable of keeping it and need his help to live.

The help we need is always there, our burdens are lifted, we are no longer buried under the weight of religion but free to bury the hatchet, like Valjean, and to forgive others, because we finally understand the heart of the father.

Kathy Novak is a member of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church and a Bible study fellowship discussion leader. E-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or call 525-8035. Articles submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.