I often wonder at the unseemly situations people bring for adjudication in courtroom TV dramas. Usually the plaintiff is a young, attractive career woman. The defendant an older, calculating man without financial resources. The suit deals with repayment of a loan which the plaintiff testifies the defendant owes her. He states that it was never a loan, but a gift because they were "in a relationship."

Frequently the judge asks the woman how she ever became involved in such a situation. The answer, "I was in love."

The underlying cause is usually more complex. Our world has become increasingly depersonalized. Making a phone call involves a series of selections before reaching a real person. When calling for medical help, a medical record number, not a name is often requested. Many such incidents result in a pervasive sense of loneliness and isolation. In the feverish search for love, affirmation, and security, the tendency is to grasp at whatever is close at hand. Rather than diminishing the pain, it often leads to a further sense of isolation and alienation.

Despite the impact of our impersonal world, loneliness is not unique to us. It has long been part of the human experience. The Bible tells us of David's desperate loneliness when he was forced to live in caves while being pursued by Saul's army. He suffered through terrible days when his beloved son, Absalom, betrayed him. Many of David's psalms reflect his isolation and anguish.

"Look to my right and see/ No one is concerned for me./ I have no refuge. / No one cares for my life." (Psalm 142:4)

"How long O Lord, how long?" is a recurrent theme in many of David's psalms.

As Jesus waited to be arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, he told his disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." (Matthew 26:38)

Instead of offering him comfort, his disciples all fell asleep. Jesus was alone at one of his darkest hours. At the terrifying ninth hour of his crucifixion, Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" God did not answer. Jesus had to fulfill his role in taking on the sins of the world.

Through the death of his son, Jesus, God granted us the wonderful gift of forgiveness and intimacy. When the temple curtain was torn in two at the hour of Jesus' death, we no longer had to resort to sacrifices and other artificial means to reach God. Jesus' death made him available to us at any time, any place. While loneliness is a desperate, agonizing experience, God will help us through it.

How privileged we are to have the means to overcome our loneliness. Although we will walk through dark valleys many times in our lives, God is always there for us. We need only ask. At his resurrection, Jesus told his disciples, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)

Mary Aley Wilkinson holds a certificate in lay ministry from the Bible Institute of Hawaii and is a member of Hawaii Kai Church.