How does she do it? One tiny wahine climbed down from her massive vehicle and composed a response.

She drives a Hummer H2 and though she's 4 feet 9 and wears shorts that are children's size 12, she doesn't have to rely on wedge heels to reach the gas pedal. The H2 is so adjustable, she explains. She just pushes buttons and the seat moves all the way forward. Yes, it fits in the garage. It's a three-car garage.

She doesn't want her name in the paper, but she doesn't mind sharing her personalized license plate, an anagram for "great white." Her Hummer is, of course, white.

And yes, she can park it. No problem.

"One day I watched a man go back and forth trying to park his Toyota Echo," she recalls. Toyota Echoes are on the opposite end of the size chart, a manini next to Great White. "He did sandwich park it after about eight 'back-and-forths'; I just smile and think, 'I can park mine in three strokes'."

Her motto is, "If you can't drive it, don't buy it." She can drive that land shark.

There's no fancy gold trim on her H2 Great White. No Swarovski crystals on her cell phone, either. She's not into the superficial bling. The sheer size of the vehicle is enough. But she does have OnStar, the security, navigational and communication onboard service. And she lives in Hilo, where one might imagine that security, navigation and communication might be handled other ways.

"On rainy Hilo days, I park way out yonder, pull out my huge Hummer design umbrella (63 inches across) and walk to the mall." The umbrella has to match in scale to the car, naturally.

"I absolutely hate when people lean on my car or touch my windows and leave fingerprints. No respect," she wrote in her rebuttal. She keeps the interior spotless as well. Before she drives off, she places a little towel on her neck so the seat belt won't get makeup on it.

She thinks of everything.

She's seen it all, too. Folks giving her the "thumbs down" sign as she drives around town. People asking if she owns her own gas station. One guy sarcastically suggested she trade in her Hummer and upgrade to a Stryker vehicle. She shot back, "Good idea!" and left him gaping. And then there's that look on people's faces that asks, "How does a tiny lady pay for her huge car?"

Her answer:

"You don't go to Las Vegas and throw away last month's paycheck, don't smoke, don't drink, don't play the stock market, work hard and get your dream car," she says.

"I love my H2 ... It gets me where I want to go. That's it."

That's that.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.