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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Wear both contact lenses: 'It's da law'

What's worse, the smiling arrest photo or the excuse about driving with only one contact lens?

Hard to say. The grinning Ron Menor mug shot taken after his DUI arrest is so off-key and indelible; but then again, his explanation about the one contact lens is a jaw-dropper of bad judgment.

You shouldn't drive if you can't see! That's about as bad as driving drunk!

Or maybe the two are connected. Maybe the Democratic state senator from Mililani is smiling in the photo following his DUI arrest early Sunday morning because he couldn't see the camera, what with the one outdated contact lens slipping around his eye.

Didn't he talk to a lawyer before he released his "explanation" about driving too slow because he couldn't see? Oh wait, he is a lawyer.

Included in his statement e-mailed to local media:

"I was in fact driving slowly because I had been wearing a single contact lens from an old prescription after having recently lost both of my prescription lenses. My replacement lenses have been on order from my ophthalmologist. The older, single lens I was wearing was giving me some unanticipated problems as the night wore on, and was slipping in my eye just before I was stopped."

Gee, most people who wear contacts wouldn't so much as walk from the house to the garage with only one lens, much less drive from Mililani to town, sit through a concert, go out to dinner and then drive home at night. Take a cab. Catch a ride. Talk your eye doctor into giving you an emergency pair from the office stash. Something.

What, does Duke Aiona have to do a PSA now? "And remember, wear BOTH your contact lenses when you drive. It's da law." Mufi Hannemann can sing in the background a "Don't drive one-side" jingle.

Of course, the first thing that happens when there's an elected official arrested for DUI is that everyone starts playing the game where you list all the other politicians who got arrested for drunken driving. And the politicians with DUIs on their records get mad at the guy who just got arrested because their past mistakes get a fresh spin on the gossip wheel:

The guy who hit a car and split, saying he thought it was just a pole.

The guy who hit the lady's car and then reversed and hit a rock wall in Makiki.

The guy who unzipped and relieved himself on the side of the road right in front of the cops who pulled him over.

And now, the guy driving with only one-side contact lens.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.