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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, August 2, 2008

Rail debate amuses, confuses

By David Shapiro

This week starts and ends with rail transit as we place tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused:

  • After pledging to fight a voter initiative on transit by any legal means, Mayor Mufi Hannemann now says he'll support putting the question on the ballot if it's worded right. His preferred wording: Should we tie Charles Djou or Ann Kobayashi to the tracks for the train's inaugural run?

  • An Advertiser poll found that two-thirds of O'ahu voters polled support rail, but most say they won't use the train themselves. Kind of like good manners — nice for other people to have.

  • Hawai'i is spending up to three times the national average on our roads, but their condition is the 47th worst in the nation, a study says. Anybody heard if Chinatown bookies think we'll do any better with rail?

  • Duke Bainum, who's lived mostly in Arkansas lately, rushed back to Honolulu and rented an apartment so he could run for the council when Kobayashi declared for mayor. Don't they have city councils in Arkansas whose dysfunction he could contribute to?

  • Bainum gets a free ride after his only opponent, Rep. Kirk Caldwell, was disqualified. Bainum will be the only candidate to ever campaign for a Honolulu council seat from Little Rock.

  • Cirque du Soleil is coming to Honolulu in October and November. Like we need more clowns running around town at election time.

  • Gov. Linda Lingle test-drove fuel-efficient vehicles at a federal energy lab in Colorado. She must have been relieved to get home to the comfort of her new gas-guzzling Infiniti SUV.

  • The state's chief elections officer, Kevin Cronin, says he meant to register to vote as the law requires of him, but it kept slipping down his to-do list. Makes you curious what other parts of the election law he considers optional.

  • Tesoro Corp., owner of Hawai'i's largest gasoline refiner, said high oil prices and less demand cut its profits to a fraction of last year's. All together now: Awwwwwww.

  • Michelle Wie's best LPGA showing this year is a DQ, but she's still one of the five highest-paid female athletes at $12 million, according to Forbes. No wonder she didn't sign her scorecard. She must have writer's cramp from endorsing the checks she pulled from Nike's clenched teeth.

  • John McCain mocked Barack Obama by likening him to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I guess a man McCain's age is more into the Gabor sisters.

    And the quote of the week ... from Councilman Romy Cachola on the need to give voters a say on rail: "I'm willing to hold hands, because if we don't, the public will crucify this institution." I promise not to crucify him if he keeps his hands to himself.

    Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.