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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, August 2, 2008

Men speak out against rise in domestic abuse

By Rob Perez
Advertiser Staff Writer

In the struggle to curb domestic abuse, a handful of men sounded the alarm yesterday.

Spurred to action by nine deaths over the past year, the religious leaders, nonprofit executives, politicians, community activists and others pledged to support efforts to end a vicious cycle of violence against Hawai'i's women and children and to be positive role models and mentors.

Standing outside the Cathedral of Our Lady of Peace in Downtown, they encouraged other men to join them in speaking out against the violence that so far this year has claimed the lives of a 7-year-old boy and his mother in Mililani, the mother of four children in 'Ewa Beach, an 'Aiea mom of an 18-year-old teen, a mother of five who was beaten to death on a Kailua street and a Kalihi woman who was stabbed with a kitchen knife at her apartment. In the Mililani, 'Ewa Beach and 'Aiea cases, police said the husbands committed the killings, then took their own lives.

Raymund Liongson, a Leeward Community College assistant professor who was a victim of domestic abuse as a young child in the Philippines, said men must take an active role in stopping the violence and pushing a message of equality and respect for women.

"I have seen and experienced the pains that domestic violence brings to the family," Liongson said after participating in yesterday's "voices of men" pledge. "We need to constantly remind ourselves that the devil we call domestic violence is always there."

Mohamed Elmallah, who moved to Hawai'i from San Diego in January, said he was motivated to attend yesterday's event because of the recent string of family-related killings. At the current pace, 2008 could become the worst year in at least the past decade for domestic violence murders in Hawai'i.

"It's frightening," Elmallah said. "I hate to think this will become a trend. ... As an individual and a Muslim and a man, I'd like to say domestic violence is something we have to stop."

The need for men to get involved to try to curb that abuse prompted Richard Rodrigues Jr. to join yesterday's pledge.

To underscore how prevalent the problem is, Rodrigues said domestic violence has affected his extended family on O'ahu and Kaua'i over the past four generations.

"I think the bottom line is it stops with me," he said.

As a community, Rodrigues added, more must be done to curtail the violence. "It may not be acceptable, but it's something that not enough people are standing up against," he said.

A few feet away, a large sign summed up one of the messages Rodrigues and other participants were sounding:

"Violence can't be Ended in a day. But wouldn't Today be a good day to Start?"

Catholic Charities Hawai'i and the Domestic Violence Action Center sponsored yesterday's event.

Reach Rob Perez at rperez@honoluluadvertiser.com.