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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Having a child puts priorities in order, motivates players

By Leila Wai
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Kamele Monteilh, wife of UH football player Keao, watches practice with her son, Kanoa, 4, left, and Kanoa’s cousin, Aliyah Stewart, 4. “When we do spend time with him, Keao tries to make the most of it,” Kamele said.

DEBORAH BOOKER | The Honolulu Advertiser

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Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Keao Monteilh

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Raising a child can take more time than is available in a day. And for a college football player, focus can't always be on the family.

Between school and study hall, and practices, training and team meetings, diaper changing and bottle making, it's a combination of three full-time commitments for some fathers on the team.

Yet they have embraced their roles as parents with the same drive that enables them to be Division I athletes.

"It makes me play a lot harder,"said senior safety Keao Monteilh, who has two children, Kanoa, 4, and Keamalu, 6 months, with wife Kamele.

"You never know, an opportunity might arise, and I might make it to the next level and I might not, but I can always fall back on my degree. But it's always on the back of my mind; I want to give them what they want. I want to buy them whatever and take care of my family and my dad and my mom, and that kind of motivates me."

It's not easy, with different obligations tugging them in different directions.

"(Kanoa) misses his dad a lot when he's gone, like right now, when they are at camp," said Kamele, who was watching a fall camp practice with Kanoa and Keamalu earlier this month. "That's why (Kanoa is) really excited to be here right now. When we do spend time with him, Keao tries to make the most of it."

She said during school Keao visits Kanoa, who goes to school at the UH preschool.

"If (Keao) has extra time off, some of the guys will go with (Keao) and hang out with the kids, and that kind of helps," Kamele said.

During the season, family time is mostly restricted to weekends.

"I go home and to the house and I do abs and make her come outside to the yard and throw the ball and she'll say, 'No, I'm tired already, go call my brother,'" Monteilh says of Kamele. "And I say, 'No, you have to help me. Do you want me to make it or not?' I give her the old guilt trip. And she gives in."

It's given Monteilh "more maturity," he said. "My mom still teases me about still being a little kid, asking how I can have kids if I'm still a little kid myself, but it's because I still like to play around. It made me settle down a lot."

Kamele said Monteilh wasn't really a "party-party guy," but this season he has calmed down.

"And it's not because of me," she said with a laugh. "... He's just more focused on football."

For most of the UH players who are fathers, having a child made football more important.

"It makes you set your priorities correctly and makes you make the right decisions in life," safety Mana Silva said.

Silva's wife Keilah and son Kauahe, 1, live in Hilo, and he rarely gets to see them. In the spring, he flew back on weekends.

"The family is the cornerstone for me," Silva said. "My wife keeps me in line and we stay close and take care of our son. It's tough when you first leave, but you just try to get through it. My wife takes it hard.

"Having a child, I had to mature pretty quick. There's more responsibility. You can't just go to the beach and play around and stuff, your family is always first."

Like Silva, cornerback Calvin Roberts doesn't get to see his daughter Layla as often as he would like. Layla lives in San Francisco with her mother, Roberts' girlfriend Addie Cortez.

"The life is not necessarily hard," Roberts said. "I miss her every day, but I have a job to do. I need to go to school, and play football, so overall I think it's fantastic. I visit her and she tries to come down once in a while."

Roberts said Layla, 3, changed him. Instead of spending his time playing video games or hanging out with his friends, he spends his time with her.

"Now it's crucial timing," he said. "I have to play with her and spend time with her. I watch TV with her. We watch cartoons and I think it's really fun. It's like being a kid all over again."

He thinks about her "every day" wondering how she enjoyed her first day at preschool, what she liked the most about it, or if she cried.

Every time he thinks about her, it makes him push harder.

Unlike Roberts, defensive tackle Josh Leonard brought his fiancee Christa Sariaba with him when he came to UH. Now, with 11-month-old son Blayne in the picture, Leonard said he works harder to make sure he will be able to provide for his family.

"I'd say I work a little harder to push myself and hopefully make it to the next level," Leonard said. "I matured more, starting thinking about the degree and making sure I'm financially stable when I get older for my son."

Leonard said the "hardest part is dealing with the family life, going to practice, going to school, going to meetings, going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 5 in the morning.

"But it's good, because it's good having a kid. I'm glad I have one. The only way I can describe it is it's just pure love for him."

Reach Leila Wai at lwai@honoluluadvertiser.com.