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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dems unite — Hawaii, not quite

By David Shapiro

The Democratic National Convention was the big story, so we'll start there as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

  • Barack Obama accepted the nomination for president before 84,000 adoring Democrats at Mile High Stadium. In a rock-concert atmosphere, he performed a medley of "I Wanna Be Your Man," "Love Me Do" and "I Did It My Way."

  • Michelle Obama worked hard in her convention speech to show Americans she's not an angry black woman. That lasted until she got back to the hotel and found Barack's socks on the floor.

  • Hillary Clinton graciously released her delegates, but the Hawai'i contingent couldn't get a unanimous vote for Obama when Richard Port held out for Clinton anyway. He's just not a silver-medal kind of guy.

  • Hawai'i Senate President Colleen Hanabusa warned delegates not to place too high an expectation on Clinton to unify the party. They should listen. If Hawai'i legislators understand anything, it's low expectations.

  • UH football coaches couldn't decide all week on their starting quarterback against Florida. This drama has dragged out as long as the Obama-Clinton competition.

  • Citizens Against Government Waste gave zero rankings to Hawai'i Sens. Daniel Inouye, Daniel Akaka and Rep. Neil Abercrombie, and awarded Rep. Mazie Hirono a 1 percent rating. Hirono always was the class showoff.

  • U.S. Attorney Ed Kubo is cracking down on illegal immigrants, saying "There will be no aloha for those who lie, cheat and steal from us." Darn right. We've got plenty of homegrowns doing that stuff and don't need to import more.

  • The King Kamehameha statue at the U.S. Capitol will be moved from Statuary Hall to a new visitors center. Isn't that stereotyping to put the Hawaiian to work welcoming tourists?

  • The state is working to cool Kahuku High classrooms known on campus as "purgatory." Hey, that's a step up from when I was in high school. We knew it as "hell."

  • Slack-key master Ledward Ka'apana had his guitar stolen on his 60th birthday. I know seniors are more vulnerable to crime, but couldn't they have let the poor guy finish his cake before reminding him?

  • Maui and O'ahu farmers will get a 30 percent discount when they use the Hawaii Superferry to move their produce between islands. Kaua'i farmers can have their kids deliver fruits and veggies on surfboards.

    And the quote of the week ... from Sen. Akaka on his bill for Native Hawaiian recognition: "Who knows? A miracle may happen. We may pass it. Bush might sign it." I thought faith-based government was a Republican thing.

    Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.