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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, December 16, 2008

ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND
Mom stays optimistic despite loss

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Help our neighbors in need

By Suzanne Roig
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser
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HOW TO HELP

If you want to help, send checks payable to "The Advertiser Christmas Fund," to Helping Hands Hawai'i, 2100 N. Nimitz Highway, Honolulu, HI 96819. Monetary donations may also be dropped off at any First Hawaiian Bank branch or The Advertiser's cashier's desk.

To donate online, go to www.honoluluadvertiser.com/xmasfund.

Material goods may be dropped off at the Community Clearinghouse at 2100 N. Nimitz Highway, near Pu'uhale Road, during these hours: Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.; Saturdays, Dec. 6, 13 and 20 only: 8 a.m. to noon.

To schedule a donation pick-up for large items, or to make a monetary donation by phone, call 440-3800.

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When Agnes goes to work full time, her husband stays at home and is Mister Mom.

He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of their 2-year-old daughter.

"I just decided I wanted to work," said Agnes, who didn't want her last name used. "He's happy with the arrangement."

Life is especially looking up now for Agnes, 34, her 45-year-old husband and her daughter. They just moved in to their first single-family home in Wai'anae and are working at furnishing it and making it theirs.

"Life is what you make of it," Agnes said. "We choose to have that don't-give-up spirit."

It wasn't always like that for her. Right now, she's working her way out of a deep depression she sunk into after her 8-month-old died. He was born with congenital problems and had a tumor in his heart. Every time she talks about him, she starts to cry.

"It's not supposed to happen this way," Agnes said. "He was supposed to outlive me. We take good care of our daughter."

Now she's throwing herself into making the best life she can for her daughter. If someone adopts her, she'd love a toy and a hot holiday meal or a gift card to a grocery store like Sack-n-Save. A bicycle for her daughter would really make the holiday special. Her daughter wears a size 4 or 5 toddler.

"Her favorite color is pink and purple," Agnes said.

Reach Suzanne Roig at sroig@honoluluadvertiser.com.

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