Posted on: Saturday, December 20, 2008
Another deluge of dubious doings
By David Shapiro
Heavy rains muddied the week's events, but we'll try to clear things up as we "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused:
President-elect Barack Obama and his family are flying in to town for a Christmas holiday. I hope Santa allows extra time for Secret Service clearance.
Despite the excitement about our local-born candidate, Hawai'i tied West Virginia for the nation's lowest voter turnout in the presidential election. The Hawai'i state quarter should have said "ainokea" on the back.
The state wants to fast-track $1.86 billion worth of capital improvement projects to stimulate the economy and create jobs. Hmmm. Makes you wonder if the economy would be so dead if they hadn't slow-tracked the projects until now.
An Iraqi journalist is becoming a national hero for throwing his shoes at President Bush, but I'd never try that with Gov. Linda Lingle or Mayor Mufi Hannemann. I'd be afraid that if either got ahold of my footwear, they'd use it to kick my ash.
The state Campaign Spending Commission considered changing the rules to allow more political donations from the Mainland. In this economy, local special interests alone can't afford to pay top dollar to buy politicians.
Honolulu Councilman Charles Djou shook up his office by firing three top staffers. I guess even the people Djou pays can take him seriously for only so long.
Copper thief Diamantino Reis said he deserved leniency because he stole his wire from the West Loch Golf Course instead of the freeway, but Circuit Judge Richard Perkins didn't buy it and gave him 10 years. Maybe if Reis had replaced his divots.
Recent heavy rains have exacerbated pothole problems all around O'ahu. For the worst of them, road crews have to rappel to the bottom.
The U.S. Census Bureau ranked Honolulu's cost of living the third highest in the nation behind New York and San Francisco. Our taste for Spam always holds us back from making it to the top.
Public school teachers are still refusing on principle to submit to random drug tests six months after the deadline set in the contract they signed. It's a new principle: No Stoner Left Behind.
And the quote of the week ... from Watson Okubo of the state Health Department on the hazards of swimming in brown water from storm runoff: "We ask people to use their common sense. If it looks dirty, why go in?"
Getting lectured on common sense by the government is like being scolded by Paris Hilton on immodesty.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.
