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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, February 8, 2008

When should kids get that first phone?

StoryChat: Comment on this story

By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Leta Newman, of Portlock, says her 9-year-old daughter Gabrielle does extra chores to earn the money to pay for her cell phone.

DEBORAH BOOKER | The Honolulu Advertiser

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Leta Newman knew her daughter, Gabrielle, was ready for a cell phone because Gabrielle is paying the monthly charges herself.

The 9-year-old is doing extra chores around the house, like dusting, or giving her mom foot rubs, to cover the $10 fee.

For Gabrielle, it's worth it for access to the hand-me-down phone.

"I use it for when I'm at school — I like that I can call my mom (to pick me up) and stuff like that," said the fourth-grader at Koko Head Elementary. "And for emergencies.

And for coming up with such a good answer ... ?

"You can have dinner tonight," her mother, Leta, said jokingly.

Experts say children are ready to handle a cell phone around age 10 or 11, as they grow more independent and are starting to walk home, go shopping or spend time at the library without a grownup. And that average age could be growing younger.

"Increasingly, kids in sixth and seventh grade have cell phones, and your child might, depending on your community, be in the minority not to have one," says Diane Debrovner, the health and psychology editor of Parents magazine.

Parents have made teens and their 8- to 12-year-old younger siblings the fastest growing segment of the U.S. cell phone market, says Jill Aldort, a senior analyst at Yankee Group. And last year, 72 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds had cell phones.

OLD ENOUGH?

Parent Valerie Torres, of Kapolei, says the average age of cell phone users may be dropping because of second-child syndrome — the tendency to let second and later children mimic their older siblings at a younger age.

When Torres' oldest daughter was 13, the daughter got a cell phone. Little brother Pedro got his at age 11.

Pedro, a Kapolei middle-schooler, now 12, saw the usefulness in having easy access to his parents, just like his older sister did.

"He told us he was going to be very responsible," said Valerie Torres, adding that Pedro has indeed proved himself.

Sean Tajima, vice principal at Kapolei Middle, suspects that about 70 percent of Pedro's classmates have cells.

How can you tell if yours is ready for one?

Tajima suggests taking in the big picture: How often do they lose things? How are their grades, which are a reflection of responsibility?

Tajima's older son got a cell phone at age 17 and never lost it. So when it comes to his own two younger children, Tajima said, he may err on the side of going younger: "It's worth it to give them a chance."

"It would be their privilege to lose or keep," Tajima added.

IT'S A RESPONSIBILITY

Parenting expert Debrovner says to consider whether your children will remember to charge the phone and turn it on, and whether they will lose it or forget to check for a message.

"Do they do their homework and remember to turn it in? Get out of the house for school in the morning? Do they follow their rules?" Debrovner asked. "If you've given them certain privileges and they can handle them, then I think a cell phone is reasonable next step."

Parents interviewed for this story said the primary purpose for the cell is to stay in contact with family — so it benefits them, as well.

Long gone are the days when Mom sat waiting in the minivan for soccer practice to be over. Now, she can pop into the store on the way, picking up that fresh gallon of milk while she waits for the cell to ring.

Long gone, too, are the days when parents bellowed down the street for their children to come in for supper: Now, Torres just dials her son's number.

BUT AT WHAT AGE?

Sister Anne Clare DeCosta has seen second-graders at her school, St. Patrick's in Kaimuki, with their own cells. And Newman knows kindergartners at Koko Head have them.

But are those of tender years truly ready for the responsibility of carrying an expensive piece of equipment? And are they capable of following the rules of cell phone communication?

Not always, said DeCosta, the school's principal. That's why her staff has taken a stand: They don't want to see them during school hours.

It's not enough to just turn off the ringer during class. Faculty say texting can get out of hand.

"It's a great form of cheating on tests, conversing and not paying attention," DeCosta said.

Worse, however, are signs of immaturity that arise. And we don't mean from keiki.

"At recess, children are calling the parents for every little thing," the nun said, adding that parents, in turn, call the office right away to demand action.

The calls have come in before DeCosta's even had a chance to notify the teacher.

While DeCosta also points out that cell phones help busy families with afterschool schedules stay in contact ...

"Parents give a cell as if it's a toy." she said. "It's not a toy, it's a communications device that has to be used responsibly."

THE PARENTAL FACTOR

While cell phones make parents' lives easier, DeCosta worries that some may use phones in place of good judgment.

"It's not a substitute for parenting," she said. "You can't use it like a sitter: 'If you need me, call me.' "

Valerie Torres agrees: Cell phones are simply additional tools, and while checking in can offer peace of mind in the moment, they are no substitute.

"It gives you a hope that he's OK at that time, but you don't know, past that," Torres said.

She remembered the time Pedro had an accident on his bicycle. He called right away, so "at least I'd know what's going on," Torres said.

In those cases, cell phones can feel like lifesavers.

Newman adds: "It's an extra tool. (At times it may give) a false sense of security, but if you didn't have the phone, you'd be in the same situation."

CAUTIONARY ADVICE

Parents often worry about unwanted calls and messages reaching their children.

When Pedro Torres gets a call with a strange number, he doesn't answer it, his mother said.

But what if it's a parent who's stuck and calling from another phone?

Dr. Regina Milteer, a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics' Council on Communications and Media, suggests advising kids to hang up if they don't know a caller. They also should learn to check messages right away, as well as understand they should not give out their number to strangers or post it on the Internet.

SO WHEN IS TOO YOUNG?

Children younger than 10 are generally not recommended to have phones because they are too much responsibility, Milteer says. Although, she notes, there are always exceptional circumstances that may dictate otherwise.

For Gabrielle Newman's mom, Leta, those circumstances include a very responsible daughter — and an extra foot rub.

Lisa A. Flam of The Associated Press contributed national information to this report.

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