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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, July 7, 2008

ABOUT WOMEN
For now, shabby's just fine

By Christie Wilson
Advertiser Columnist

After two years in student housing, The Girl wants to share an off-campus place with friends where she can have her own bedroom. I can understand her desire for more privacy because I did the same thing after a year in a zoo-like dorm.

Since she's been paying her living expenses, except rent, I'm giving her this one.

But then she asked if we would buy her a bed and other new furniture for her apartment.

New furniture? Are you kidding me?

You're not supposed to have nice things when you're in college. That comes later, much later.

Interior design for college living means beanbag chairs, bookshelves constructed of concrete blocks and particle board, and, if you're lucky, a tatty papasan (a rattan, bowl-shaped chair) you picked up from the departing tenant.

Her request got me looking back at my life history of major furniture purchases.

My husband and I didn't buy our first new bed until 1987, when we were in our 30s. Before then, we slept on a queen-size folding mattress on the floor.

A regular bed became a necessity when I got pregnant and couldn't get to my feet without assistance.

A brand-new sofa didn't come along until 1994, following the arrival of our second baby. Through the years we had relied on a series of thrift-store sofa beds, futons and other shabby seating that was anything but chic. The couch we were using at the time was stuffed with newspapers for support, and the thought of exposing our newborn to whatever biohazards and pathogens were stewing in the cushions was a little scary, so we bought a sofa and loveseat package at a bargain furniture store.

Six years later, after the kids and pets contributed their share of biohazard deposits, we went sofa shopping at C.S. Wo.

Like George and Weezy, we were movin' on up.

In more recent times we've been able to exchange the remaining junk for other fine furniture, one piece at a time. I'm still looking to replace our mismatched dining set, and you'll find secondhand dressers in the bedrooms.

Even if you can afford it, I think it's a bad idea for parents to buy teens and young adults brand-new big-ticket items like cars or furniture. It instills a false sense of entitlement and denies them an important rite of passage when they're finally able to acquire nice things with their own hard-earned dollars.

Still, I am a little sympathetic to The Girl's plea for a new bed. It is kind of gross to think about sleeping on a mattress previously used by God knows how many other people for God knows what purposes. I've seen enough "Dateline" reports on the cooties lurking in recycled mattresses to take the threat seriously.

But we survived used furniture, and what doesn't kill you makes your immune system stronger, right?

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.