"I MISS HER SO MUCH ..."

That's all Agnes Agapay could say of Grineline "Elaine" James, 39, her best friend from childhood in the Philippines and fellow teacher at Farrington High School, before burying her face in friend Cindy Werkmeister's shoulder and letting out her tears.

Agpay and a large group from Farrington were among about 150 people who participated in a silent march yesterday at the state Capitol for Grineline and 7-year-old Michael James II, domestic violence victims of last week's double murder-suicide in Mililani Mauka.

The march around a block bordered by South Beretania, South King, Punchbowl and Richards streets took 15 to 20 minutes — time for participants to reflect on memories shared with the victim, agonize over why it happened and contemplate strategies to deal with a crime tearing at the heart of American family values.

"I'm a social worker so I know of domestic violence," said Alison Colby, a teen center social worker at Farrington, "but (Grineline's death) has been very difficult to process, fathom."

Chantell Erolin, who lives on same street as the James family but didn't know them, participated in her first silent march yesterday. "I'm still traumatized by it but I wanted to show support, let them know people care," she said.

Seven of 10 homicide victims in Honolulu this year are victims of domestic violence, including four victims in murder-suicides.

FILIPINOS CONCERNED

In all of the murder-suicide cases except the James case, in which Michael James Sr. was black, the victims and their killer were of Filipino ancestry, raising concerns within the Filipino community.

Helena Manzano, manager of the Filipina Rural Project, said there has been a surge in the domestic violence-related murders among Filipinos in Hawai'i over the past 10 years. Without offering statistical data, Manzano said the spike involved a 70 percent increase in Filipino victims.

"The causes are similar across the board but there are unique and special barriers (to seeking help) involving cultural norms within each different ethic group," Manzano said. "For Filipinos, there's an undeniable perception of shame, what others will think or say."

Christianne Liongson of 'Ewa Beach, a 17-year-old recent graduate of Maryknoll School, attended yesterday's march to learn more about domestic violence, a subject she has been researching because of events that have happened to friends.

"It's sad that society has become so used to this abusive treatment that we turn a blind eye to what happens," Liongson said. "But what bothers me more than that is that it is happening in our state. For one, I'm disappointed that friends and family of (someone killed) will say that it didn't seem like anything was wrong.

"When someone is being abused, we should know (as friends and family)," added Liongson, who will be attending Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. "But one thing (Filipino) people being abused will do is hide the problem, to show everything is normal or for people to think bad of their spouse."

Liongson believes the solution starts with admitting there's a problem and seeking help.

In written statements, Filipino Chamber of Commerce board member Eddie Agas and Jake Manegdeg, president of the Filipino American Citizens League, encouraged men to treat women and children family members with respect and seek counseling if needed.

NOT SEEN AS RACE ISSUE

Carol Lee, executive director of the Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, said domestic violence is not particularly an ethnic problem.

"It has nothing to do with race," Lee said. "Domestic violence crosses all ethnic, cultural, economic, education and age lines. Nobody is immune; it can happen to any one of us."

For help, call the 24-hour Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence hot line at 841-0822 or 526-2200.