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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, June 1, 2008

Four advice books every parent should read

By John Rosemond
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

I rarely review books in this column because every time I do, I receive unwanted solicitations from not just book publishers but manufacturers of various and sundry products to make parenting even more expensive than it is already. Nonetheless, every policy has its exceptions. In this case, I'm making an exception on behalf of four exceptional books.

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman; Revell

Leman is known for being a veritable fountain of down-to-earth, commonsense parenting wisdom as well as his sometimes mischievous wit, and he does not disappoint on either count in this, his latest tome. The subtitle, "How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior, and Character in 5 Days," might provoke skepticism, but Leman delivers in spades. His five-day game plan for restoring your authority and taking back your family is nothing short of a blueprint for effective parenting. Leman is one of less than a handful of experts who actually succeed in reducing parenting to the simple exercise in leadership that it is. After laying out his five-day rehab program, which is actually about rehabbing yourselves more than it is about your kids, Leman spends more than 150 pages addressing every conceivable parenting issue from potty training to tattoos and body piercings. You'll enjoy reading this, and if you do what he says, it will be transformational.

"conFIDENT PARENTING" by Jim Burns; Bethany House

Jim Burns is host of the "HomeWord" radio show. I've had the pleasure of meeting Burns, and can attest that he walks his talk. The book is faith-based, but I can also assure that Burns' practical, been-there-done-that advice will appeal to even the most secular of hearts. Written in a relaxed and conversational style and full of engaging anecdotes, it should take even a slow reader no more than an afternoon to digest. Burns begins by talking about breaking generational chains of dysfunction, and then moves into the realms of effective parent-child communication, discipline, boundary-setting and, finally, creating a family atmosphere that provides a sense of safe haven for all concerned. If there's one word I'd give to this book, it's inspirational.

"Internet Protect Your Kids" by Stephen Arterburn and Roger Marsh; Thomas Nelson

If I was Supreme Commander of American Parenting, I would require that every parent read and pass a test on this book. As regular readers of this column know, I am more than alarmed at the potential dangers of allowing a child to surf the Internet unsupervised. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard horror stories of good kids gone really bad due to involvement with unhealthy aspects of the information highway. Predators, pornography, the lure of instant fame through sites like YouTube, the debilitating addiction of online gaming — this book covers them all and more. After educating parents as to the shocking facts about the Internet's dark side, Arterburn and Marsh provide parents with workable strategies for minimizing if not eliminating the dangers and maximizing the Internet's benefits.

"How to Behave and Why" by Munro Leaf; Universe

A charming and instructive little book on fundamental courtesies for parents to read to their preschoolers. This is actually one of a series — including "Manners Can Be Fun" and "How to Speak Politely and Why" — that Leaf wrote in the 1930s and '40s. Although written when today's great-grandparents were kids, the lessons are timeless as well as written in a style that children of any generation will enjoy. As Supreme Parenting Commander in my own mind, I insist that all parents of preschoolers buy this book (preferably all three) and read them, over and over again, to their kids. Doing so would do much to improve the general state of civility, which always begins in the home.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his Web site, www.rosemond.com.