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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Monday, June 2, 2008

ABOUT WOMEN
Guys are happy; we can be, too

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Columnist

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser
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It's no surprise that women work hard.

We can run multimillion corporations and an entire household, with some spare time to train for marathons and organize weekly "Lost" dinners.

And when it comes to domestic decisions, women have more power than men, according to an Iowa State University study. We notice what needs to get done or fixed well before men figure it out. And we fret more about getting those things done right.

But despite our great strides in the workplace, at home, in the male-dominated surf, women are losing ground in one department that probably matters the most to us: happiness.

According to research by the University of Pennsylvania, men, for the first time in decades, are happier than women. The reason: men work less and relax more.

It's time women take another cue from our male counterparts. We tend to take on everything: joining volunteer groups, organizing potlucks, planning vacations, nursing heartbroken friends back to life with martinis and marathons of "Sex and the City."

Then there's the housework. The dishes stacked in the kitchen sink. The shower that needs a strategic mildew removal plan. Who's going to get all this done?

You, of course.

It's no wonder we feel overworked and unhappy.

Sure, we may do less housework than we did 40 years ago. But that doesn't mean our to-do list has gotten any shorter. In fact, according to the study, women have more to get done now than ever.

Not only are most of us working, we're still responsible for taking care of the home, from cooking to child-rearing. And not always because we have to. Most of us take on the extra duties because we're good at it — and we want it done right.

That feeling there's just not enough time to finish it all — and that the work never ends! — is contributing to our unhappiness.

We're not the Super Woman we thought we could be. We're not that multitasking power executive who can still come home and vacuum the house in Manolos. And we're starting to really, really hate Martha Stewart.

So what's a BlackBerry-wielding, laundry-toting woman to do?

Maybe take some advice from the firefighters we tend to gawk at instead of listen to: Stop, drop and roll.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Drop some things off that endless to-do list. And roll into bed — or some equally appealing place — and relax.

Hey, if the men can do it, we can, too.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read her daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.