Rule No. 1 when talking about our friends in the gothic community: Resist the urge to call them freaks.

For someone who likes the daylight and sometimes forgets to be fascinated by death, it can be a tough rule to follow. Because let's face it, those who embrace the darkness come off to the rest of us as pretty — how to put this delicately? — different.

And the differences go far beyond black clothes, Bauhaus records and those rosary beads they like to hang on themselves. These are fundamental differences that remind the day dwellers that when darkness falls, there's a whole subculture out there that is unapologetically spooky (in a good way, of course).

DJ Nocturna is Honolulu's unofficial leader of the dark side. Her KTUH radio show, "A Feast of Friends," and her occasional club events are gothic beacons in this city of fun in the sun.

Last Saturday was the launch of Nocturna's now monthly event, Camera Obscura, at NextDoor.

By midnight (the witching hour?!) the cavernous Chinatown club was crawling with gothic Honolulans.

CAMERA OBSCURA

Where: NextDoor, 43 N. Hotel St.

When: 9 p.m.-2 a.m., every first Saturday of the month

Getting in: $10 at the door, 21 and older

Learn more: www.myspace.com/djnocturna

What to expect: Two things will stand out to first-timers:

1. It's exactly how you pictured it. They're all there, in flowing black clothes and floor-length coats (or even better, capes) dancing in the dark with themselves.

2. For being such an idiosyncratic bunch, the dark side sure is friendly. Who knew that these people would be so welcoming? Everyone's allowed through the door and no one is made to feel out of place. It's an incredible dynamic, considering that most of us won't really fit in.

Can I watch?: Here's the thing about the friendly Goths (pardon us if that makes them sound like your favorite Ewok): They like to be watched. Really. It's part of their "thing." So grab a drink, take a seat on one of the couches and indulge your inner voyeur, because you've found your exhibitionist match.

The appeal: DJ Nocturna runs a tight ship (and if she really did run a ship, we bet it'd be a pirate ship). The event is impeccably organized. Guest performers take the stage when she says they will, the music — a solid mix of darkwave and '80s hits — starts and stops at the right times and she knows when she needs to step in and give the crowd a little prodding.

Dress code: Even if you don't own a corset, a filmy black dress, a cape or combat boots, you should at least wear black. Or a Victorian costume. Dressing like Mr. Darcy is not only acceptable here, it's encouraged.

Nocturna usually throws themed parties (Saturday was dark mask night), so just do as she says, and you'll be OK.

Plus, we get the feeling that she likes to be dominant. Just obey.

Shall we dance?: By all means, dance, dance, dance. But don't, by any means, grind up against the hot girl in black hoping for some action. In this culture, you either dance alone or with the person you came with; save your dancefloor pick-up mojo for Skyline.

The quickest way to unleash a severe dose of goth fury is to interrupt one of them while they're doing their thing (that shoe-gazing, arm-waving, SOLO thing) on the floor.

Next up: The April 5 installment of Camera Obscura will double as a fundraiser for a Kailua kitty shelter. We suspect that no one would object if you went dressed as, say, a black cat.

Reach Kawehi Haug at khaug@honoluluadvertiser.com.