My husband and I always joke that when one of us travels with the children, it's the one who stays home who gets the vacation. So, when he departed with the kids on a recent trip to visit his family, I was giddy at the prospect of spending some quality time with good company — me.

But when left on your own with few outside distractions, a certain amount of self-examination is unavoidable. And it's not always pretty.

Here are seven things I learned while home alone for nine days:

1. My family is not keeping me from a more demanding fitness routine. Somehow all the free time I gained by their absence was sucked up like a vacuum by other pursuits, such as naps and "Monk" marathons.

2. Some things you do in a group should not be done alone.

I came to this realization a half-mile out of screaming range while walking the dog on a long stretch of deserted beach surrounded by an empty golf course just after sunset. It's something we do as a family every weekend.

As usual, I didn't bring my cell phone and at a mere 14 pounds, the dog wasn't going to provide much protection. Didn't make that mistake twice.

3. After two days in an empty house, I begin talking to myself. Out loud. Full-on conversations, too.

"Well, what should we do tonight?"

"How about a movie?"

"Let's see what's on the tube first."

"OK, I'll make some popcorn."

"Great!"

It was freaking out the pets.

4. Drinking isn't as much fun as I remember. As a responsible adult, I said goodbye to my bar-hopping days long ago. Suddenly single, I picked up a pair of smart-looking martini glasses at Pier 1 and the makings for cosmos a la "Sex in the City." Cocktails for one two nights in a row was enough for me, although it's easy to see why lonely people drink.

5. It's possible to get through a week on a single load of laundry.

6. The kids aren't the only reason my car is messy.

7. I can survive on a lot fewer calories per day. After breakfast and a hearty late-afternoon lunch, I'm good.

But my husband demands rice three meals a day, and my teenage son has the appetite of a hobbit, with their breakfasts, second breakfasts, elevenses, luncheons, teas, dinners, suppers and snacks.

Naturally, I sample during preparation, eat as often as they eat and then nibble on leftovers.

This diet dilemma could be solved with a little self-discipline, but ... oh, wait, I think I hear another episode of "Monk" starting.

"Gosh, you're pathetic."

"Oh, shut up."

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.