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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Quotation reminds us to be kind

By Lee Cataluna
Advertiser Columnist

In the '80s we had "Where's the beef?"

In the '90s it was "Show me da money."

In the first half of this decade, the favorite catchphrase-slash-philosophical statement looked to be a toss-up between "Top Chef's" ubiquitous and inane "It is what it is" and Paris Hilton's deadpan "That's hot."

But a movement is sweeping across the land as only Internet memes can, and it exhorts, of all things, compassion.

Perhaps you've received an e-mail lately with this phrase nestled under the salutation:

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

It appears on Web pages for support groups of all kinds, from diabetes education Web sites to substance abuse intervention forums to survivinginfi delity.com.

It is frequently uttered by celebrities, invoked on Craigslist and posted on message boards when the tone gets too vicious.

The quote is usually unattributed, though the only name that seems to be associated with it is James Matthew Barrie, the author of "Peter Pan." In his earlier work, "Little White Bird," written in 1902, there is the quote: "Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary."

Similar, but not exact.

Another possibility is Brian Tracy, a Canadian motivational speaker, who says on his self-help Web site: "In life you can never be too kind or too fair. Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with."

The author of "Peter Pan" certainly has the sentimental edge, though, doesn't he?

The quote is disarming in a world where people gleefully fill message boards with the most hateful, judgmental, unapologetically cruel diatribes they can muster. "Bashing" is a hobby and having a snarky opinion makes you cool.

It is a reminder that suffering is universal and that kindness is not the same as weakness. In fact, it is the opposite.

If you know for certain the original author of this phrase, it would be wonderful to get that printed in this newspaper. If you don't know for certain but would like to venture a guess or say that indeed, you had been wondering about this too, no one can stop you from e-mailing that information.

That's part of the Internet phenomenon, too. People who don't have any information about something feel compelled to comment on it anyway. Perhaps they are simply acting out of some kind of battle they are fighting, for surely, we all have them.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.