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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, May 23, 2008

Tag-team parenting: 6 tips to connect, make it smoother

By Doreen Nagle
Gannett News Service

Do you find yourself heading out for the office just as your spouse is coming home from hers — and somebody needs to take the kids to soccer? Maybe your spouse is pulling out of the driveway to a computer class as you pull in from a day volunteering on a field trip.

How can you keep on top of what's going on with the family if you barely have time for a kiss hello?! With a bit of organization, today's crazy-busy families can keep it all together with tag-team parenting.

• Buy a big calendar and place it so everyone can check it each day (the fridge is a great central location). Write on it with a different color pen for each family member. This will make it easier to keep track of individual commitments.

• Make use of daily planners for everyone over the age of 10. Prioritize! What activity or school project must be acted on each day; which ones can wait for another day? Check your planner against your spouse's and decide who will take care of what.

Your kids can keep their own agendas by listing homework deadlines, after school activities and whatever else they would like to keep track of. It's a great tool to learn how to keep themselves more organized (and productive) for a lifetime.

• Stay in touch during the day. Between e-mail, text messages, cell phones and instant messaging (do people still do that?) there is little excuse not to stay in touch during the day. Help keep the other parent in touch when they are not able to be with the rest of the family by taking a photo on your cell phone and sending it. Even if you are not there in person, you can still send the love.

• Aim for a family meal together each day so you can overlap time, even if it is for a quick breakfast. You may have to work at it. For instance, if one of you gets home early a.m.'s and the other has to head out the door soon afterward, set the alarm a little bit earlier so you can sit down to a breakfast as a family, even if you have to leave right after the orange juice. Being together physically, checking in face-to-face as a family, will minimize the stress a busy schedule incurs.

• Plan for the future: Discuss how you and your spouse can work toward being on the same work schedule. Set a limit on the amount of time you will live under your present split schedule.

• Plan time together. Schedule fun couple time together as well as fun family time. Go out at least one night a month alone as a couple. It doesn't need to be an expensive dinner-and-dancing date; a walk around the neighborhood or sitting in the backyard dreaming new dreams works just as well. Get the whole family together for a night hike or pizza party.