PARENTS
Parents need not worry
By Mary Kaye Ritz
Advertiser Staff Writer
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Susie McGinn of Kailua is astounded that daughter Kelsea, 5, has been taking naps in her kindergarten class at St. John Vianney school in Enchanted Lake.
"She takes naps at school, but doesn't at home," said McGinn, who also has a second-grader, Michelle, 7. "If I needed to get her to go to sleep, I'd have to actually lie down next to her to get her to lie there."
She marvels that someone can get her child to not only nap on cue ... but even nap in a group.
"At home, she doesn't want to take a nap," then she added with a laugh, "and then when I don't want her to take a nap, she falls asleep!"
What sort of magic fairy dust do kindergarten teachers sprinkle on their tiny charges to keep the class on task?
A longtime kindergarten teacher at St. John Vianney, Earleen Victorino, said it's all about expectations.
"The secret, the best gift you can give your child, is the gift of independence," she said, explaining how some parents may scold their child about picking up their mess — all the while, cleaning it up themselves.
It's about establishing rules and expecting children to problem-solve, said Victorino, who has taught kindergarten for nearly 24 years.
Outline a task and expect the child to step up to the plate. There should be no floundering in your resolve.
LET KIDS PLAY COPYCAT
Lisa Holewa, a former reporter for The Associated Press, was among those mothers who could barely believe their children's behavior at school and went on to write "What Kindergarten Teachers Know: Practical and Playful Ways for Parents to Help Children Listen, Learn and Cooperate at Home" with Joan Rice, a kindergarten teacher.
The book (Perigee), is aimed at parents of 3- to 6-year-olds, with help from other teachers nationwide, Holewa's pediatrician and other writers.
Among the bits of wisdom from Rice, now a third-grade teacher with two daughters ages 11 and 13: using a "Not Done" pouch. In an interview with the AP, Rice said she knows how, even as an adult, it's hard to put down a project that isn't finished.
St. John Vianney's Victorino offers her own tips for parents, agreeing on the importance of breaking down projects into manageable pieces. She starts with a couple of directions, then adds gradually.
Part of the magic, of course, comes from the group mentality, which a good kindergarten teacher harnesses for positive outcomes.
"They love to copy each other," said Victorino, who now teaches second grade. "They copy us, even if you say something in the car you're not supposed to say.
"(Children) love to mimic and mirror. You build up, they build up. You build out, they build out. They feed off each other."
ESTABLISH ROUTINES
Asked to explain those first magical moments in kindergarten, when she managed to get an entire class of brand-new kindergartners on track after the misty-eyed parents dropped their precious bundles into her charge, Victorino described how she launches right in with the tasks:
"We say, 'Let's take out our backpacks. What are we going to do with those backpacks? Are we going to put them back?' " she said. "They're dialoguing, laughing and before you know it, doing things for themselves."
Other tips from Victorino: Really listen. Turn off the radio in the car to play games that stimulate learning — add up the numbers on the license plates, play "I Spy" to familiarize kids with their environment.
To stimulate imagination, practice pretending and visualizing; to stimulate vocabulary, read together. And don't finish all the sentences yourself ... read to a certain point and let your child take over.
She offered bedtime tips, too.
"Go home, pretend you're the child and let your child put you to bed," Victorino said. "Pretend to fall asleep. They'll fall asleep next to you."
McGinn knows routine is key. She also makes sure her daughters are on board with tasks: For example, when they discussed chores, she asked Kelsea what she could do. Kelsea happily volunteered to unload the laundry and to put juice bottles on the rack.
Still, Kelsea and Michelle are only two girls. McGinn can't fathom how to get a group to mind her.
"How to make everybody quiet and pay attention — that's amazing," she said.
If she was in a class of unruly kids, "I'd be screaming, I think."
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| A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER'S LESSONS FOR PARENTS:
Get a child's attention: Be physically in the child's presence when speaking. Make eye contact, and touch him on the shoulder or hand to get his attention. Or create a "listen to me" signal (turning off the light or ringing a bell).
Break up tasks into pieces: Have clear endings and beginnings to activities; give specific directions broken into manageable steps. For instance, instead of saying, "Clean up this mess," say, "Put all the cars into this bin, then put it on the shelf in your bedroom."
Know play is important: True play isn't organized sports or computer games. It involves using the imagination, such as using wooden blocks to build a roadway for race cars.
Create a routine: For reluctant sleepers, follow a relaxing, consistent routine every night to build toward bedtime. Sprinkle "sandman's dust" or baby powder over children before sleep, or rub "sleep potion" or body lotion on arms and legs as a gentle massage. Once in bed, offer a gentle back, face or head rub, play soft music or whisper a special message.
Use quiet time: Approach a child gently before the quiet time with words like "You could use a quiet time to relax." Also, give a child a quiet journal so the child can express his or her frustration and then focus on what can be done the next time.
Source: "What Kindergarten Teachers Know: Practical and Playful Ways for Parents to Help Children Listen, Learn and Cooperate at Home". |
Carrie Antlfinger of The Associated Press reported on "What Kindergarten Teachers Know" and contributed national information to this report. Reach Mary Kaye Ritz at mritz@honoluluadvertiser.com.
