In this case the bride and groom selected a resort hotel in Hawai'i for their guests' stay. Because of cost, one invited guest balked at going. But, he said, the bride and groom twisted his arm. So he went. After the guy got there, he found out that part of the reason the couple was so insistent he come was that they got free accommodations for bringing in a certain number of guests. Had he not booked a room, the bride and groom would have lost their sweet deal.

So what would you do in these cases?

When I first read the stories I was appalled, especially by the bride who wanted to piggyback on her cousin's shower. It takes a lot of gall to ask that guests attending someone else's party bring you gifts.

But on reflection, each story tells a lot about how people are pressed into doing something with their money that they don't want to do.

Let's look at destination weddings. This type of wedding can be lovely and certainly worth the money — if you can truly afford it.

If once you explain that you can't afford to go to a wedding and the bride or groom (or both) continue to pressure you to attend, what you have is a display of selfishness. Don't let yourself be bullied by selfish people.

But if you choose to attend the wedding knowing that it will be a financial burden, you can't get mad if the couple used you to get a discount. At least they were being prudent.

So as you ponder how to respond to a wedding invitation and the financial craziness that may come with such a blessed event, remember you do have free will. Exercise it wisely.