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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Friends focusing on quality time at home while opening wallet little less

By Jenee Osterheldt
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Game nights, book clubs, intimate socials — the economy is getting us to slow down and commune more.

McClatchy-Tribune News Service photo

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Over the last few months, I've been doing a lot less going out and way more going in.

I've gone to a house party, a movie night, a "Grey's Anatomy" watch night, a tea party and even a Wii party. My friends and I are turning our homes into the new hangouts.

Just last week, one friend hosted a chili and cornbread night while another had an old-fashioned game night.

All of this new domesticity turns out to be not just good for our pockets: It's good for us, too.

People are putting down their BlackBerrys and iPhones. They've cut back on happy hours and clubbing. Hanging out in their homes, they're finding an intimacy you can't get out on the town.

Meaningful conversations take place when you're comfortable enough to say anything and you aren't in a rush to get anywhere. I'm watching people who have hung out together at bars for a year or two get to know one another on a more personal level.

Sara Asmussen says she and her friends have been finding creative ways to have fun to combat the new economics.

Over the summer, they had porch nights instead of going to bars. They have weekly dinners, and soon they plan to have a craft night, including a session on making holiday gifts instead of buying them.

"Things are becoming a lot less social and a lot more communal," says Sara, 26. "My friends and I used to go out pretty frequently, but it's nice to be able to share the normal parts of your life with other people."

Daphne Cox has been going to a lot more potluck dinners lately. She's seeing more game nights, book clubs and intimate socials than she has in a long time, and agrees that it's bringing people together.

The uncertainties of a slowing economy seem to have forced us all to slow down, think about what's important in life and re-introduce ourselves to quality time.

"Co-workers, neighbors and associates are taking the time to become friends," says Daphne, 40. "We are spending less time being busy just to be busy and more time being busy with quality of life."