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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, November 27, 2008

Lots to be thankful for today

By Ferd Lewis
Advertiser Columnist

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

BJ Penn

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Today is an opportunity to count the many blessings all across this land, especially in the world of athletics.

So, before grabbing the remote and sitting down to this weekend's bountiful sports buffet, how about hoisting a drumstick and giving thanks that:

  • You don't have to do battle with BJ Penn for that last slice of pumpkin pie at the table.

  • It isn't your job to produce an hour-long Detroit Lions' highlight video this season.

  • David Veikune and the University of Hawai'i defensive line aren't stopping by your potluck with an appetite.

  • You won't have to explain — and defend — the Bowl Championship Series formula to the Big 12 team that gets left out.

  • You aren't the Notre Dame bookstore manager stuck with an inventory of 10,000 "We Love Charlie Weis" T-shirts.

  • You won't be writing the checks — or buying the tickets — that pay for CC Sabathia's new contract.

  • A game with Georgia isn't looming for the UH football team like it was last year.

  • You aren't a football referee waiting for a Christmas card from Greg McMackin.

  • You don't have to be the one to tell Joe Paterno when it is time to retire.

  • You aren't the NCAA official who gets to tell Dave Shoji where he's playing in the postseason again this year if the Rainbow Wahine get sent to the tundra.

  • Jason Gesser isn't with Washington State when the Cougars come to Aloha Stadium this time.

  • You didn't have Greg Oden in the NBA "ironman" pool.

  • You aren't the one whose job it is to deliver all of Manti Te'o's recruiting mail.

  • You aren't the next guy who has to try and revive the Utah State football program.

  • New England's Matt Light or Miami's Channing Crowder aren't competing with you for the only open parking spot at the mall.

  • That you're not "Pacman" Jones' publicist.

  • You don't have to count on UH running out of setters to beat the Rainbow Wahine.

  • You don't have to knock on Evander Holyfield's door to try and sign him up for AARP.

  • Insuring quarterbacks isn't your job.

  • Tatum Bell doesn't work at your place.

  • You didn't tell any deep, dark secrets to Jose Canseco.

  • There are no more football trips to Florida on future UH schedules.

  • Mike Singletary isn't trying to make a point at your party.

  • You aren't the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl if Akron is one of the teams you end up having to sell on Christmas Eve.

  • It isn't your turn to feed Takeru Kobayashi on this day.

    Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.