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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, August 15, 2009

Have patience, God is never far


    By Mary Aley Wilkinson

     • Religious life's new look

    As I slowly awoke from my surgery, I was finally able to to focus on the sign in front of my hospital bed. It asked, "Are You In Pain?" I said to myself, "Yes, Yes, dear Lord, I'm in pain." A brief push on the call button summoned a nurse who administered pain medication. My body gradually grew relatively pain free, but my mind was turbulent.

    A blackness had descended over me, which led to a feeling of intense loneliness and a sense of abandonment. It was as though I were walking through a dark tunnel with no exit. I was caught in a web of profound distress. I attempted to pray silently, repeating all the familiar prayers learned since childhood. I ended each with a plea to God for relief. None came. I then tried to replay some of the old familiar hymns in my mind, "How Great Thou Art," "Jesus Loves Me," "Abide With Me." Strangely, I experienced temporary relief as I sang the first few verses. And then the darkness descended again.

    In desperation, I recited some Bible passages memorized over the years. The dark curtain remained. I was nearing the end of my resources. God was far, far away. Perhaps if I visualized all the lovely scenes and events in my life —the birthdays, graduations, children's marriages, baptism — I would find peace. Still, the hopeless feeling persisted.

    I then fell into a troublesome, fitful sleep. As consciousness slowly returned, I heard the murmurs of voices from the nearby nurses' station. It was then that the image of Mrs. O'Brian took shape. Mrs. O'Brian and her husband lived on a small farm not far from Pratt, Kan. They raised chickens and vegetables. It was a frugal life. My family would always stop by to visit briefly on our way to my father's rustic cabin, our getaway vacation place. One Sunday morning, we stopped by the farm and Mrs. O'Brian told us that her husband had passed away several days before. My mother remarked, "Oh, how lonely you must be." Mrs. O'Brian responded. "No, No my dear. Don't worry about me. I'm never lonely. God is always with me." I was 12 years old, but I have never forgotten Mrs. O'Brian handing us a bag of fresh-laid eggs, proclaiming her complete faith in the Lord.

    As I dwelt on this image, I drifted back to a peaceful sleep. When I awoke, a sense of deep peace overtook me. God had not failed me. He had sent a ministering angel to comfort me in the person of Mrs. O'Brian, who had restored my mind and soul. Her words, "God is always with me," healed the tumultuous period I had experienced over the past several days.

    I now realized that God had not left me in confusion and despair. He was teaching me patience. I then remembered this wonderful statement: "Let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, wanting nothing" (James 1:4). God teaches us in amazing ways, those lessons we need most to learn. The Lord never abandons us. He is always there.