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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, August 15, 2009

Coming up short, but high on life


By David Shapiro

It was all wind and no hurricane as we "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

  • Gov. Linda Lingle spent the week on the Mainland stoking GOP health care protests in other states. She may as well spread herself around. It's not like there are any problems here that need her attention.

  • HGEA countered Lingle's demand for state worker pay cuts with a proposal to work 32 hours a week for the same pay. Nice of them to offer to do more work.

  • Hawai'i's economic outlook is in the bottom 10 among states, says a national league of state legislators. You'd think that bunch would give us credit for our one area of big economic growth — pay raises for legislators.

  • Neil Abercrombie wants the state Campaign Spending Commission to treat him equally with Mufi Hannemann and James "Duke" Aiona in the race for governor. Just because he's a foot and a half shorter than the others doesn't mean he can make do with less money.

  • The Hawai'i Supreme Court gave up trying to write a new definition of the practice of law. They couldn't improve on Johnnie Cochran's definition of a lawyer as someone who will defend your innocence until you're proven broke.

  • Somebody is posting phony city job ads on Craigslist. You mean they don't really need a comedy writer to finish the rail EIS?

  • TheBus launched a computerized system to let riders see when the next bus will reach their stop. It picks up a GPS signal from the video game the driver is playing.

  • Ann Kobayashi, 72, is back on the City Council after winning a special election to replace the late Duke Bainum and is eligible to serve 11 1/2 years before term limits kick in. That should keep her busy until she's old enough to run for the U.S. Senate.

  • Hawai'i residents have more feeling of well-being than any other state, says a Gallup index. That should prove once and for all that our pakalolo has the highest THC content.

    And the quote of the week ... from Donald Trump Jr., representing his dad in reassuring investors about the Waikiki tower that bears the family name: "This is not a hotel that's here this week and won't be there next week. It's a permanent structure." The kid means well, but he doesn't have the eyebrows for the job.