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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, August 27, 2009

Poor guy doesn't have a clue


By Lee Cataluna

There was a question in The New York Times travel section last month from a guy looking to start a new life in Hawai'i. It is a common fantasy, of course, and some people actually make the dream their reality. Or close enough. But so many sound doomed from the beginning by unrealistic expectations, limited resources and people not being straight with them about what it's like to live here.

"My girlfriend and I have lived in Brooklyn for a year, and when our lease is up in August, we're considering downsizing everything we have to a few bags and moving to Hawai'i. Given that it is a chain of islands, how does one choose which is best? Our needs are simple: we'll need public transportation or, preferably, an area that is bicycle friendly, has quality restaurants, the beach and jobs."

The answers given, both quoted from Hawai'i residents, were either Kihei or Kapalua on Maui or O'ahu.

The real answer, of course — the one you'd give to a dear friend or close relative asking you the same dingbat question — would be, "Forget it, dude. There are enough guys pitching tents in the park. We're full up."

Let's start with jobs. I don't even have to write the rest. I could just cut and paste from the hundreds of state workers posting their fear and anger online at the prospects of layoffs. There are jobs, but not the kind that will allow you to pay rent unless you're subletting a room in a pole-and-tarp house with 25 other people.

Public transportation and bicycle-friendly? So, no car huh? That isn't as footloose and romantic as it sounds. For most people in Hawai'i who don't own a car, it's not by choice. It's an economic reality, and a hardship that makes everyday life complicated. Sure you can get from the beach to your favorite "quality restaurant" by walking or biking or taking the bus, but then you'd better live and work in Waikiki and quickly make best friends with someone who has wheels.

There are islands, but we've got urban sprawl to rival Southern California. It's easier to get around in Brooklyn without a car than on Maui. On O'ahu, give TheBus an A- and bike paths an F.

Everyone is entitled to dream, and the Hawai'i dream is certainly one that has been marketed almost as heavily as the Magic Kingdom. But unless these unsuspecting people will be getting off the plane with bags stuffed with money, they won't find the island life they're hoping for. Easy living costs too much here.