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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Relieve stress by creating own respite


By Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson, R.N., and Ted Hagen, Ph.D.
McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Share your parenting tips at hawaii.momslikeme.com

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If you're a parent, you know taking care of kids is important work. You're helping to shape the next generation. But, have you ever fantasized about running away from home?

Carpooling, soccer practice and laundry can leave moms and dads feeling tired, frustrated and somewhat trapped.

It's normal to think about escaping for a little rest. You might fantasize about driving to the next town for a three-day stay at an upscale hotel.

But, you fully realize that someone would eventually call the cops. So, you wonder, what would work?

It's nice if you have siblings or friends willing to take your kids for the weekend, but some people just don't have that luxury.

Parents sometimes have to create their own breaks. A little strategizing can help you practice finding breathing room.

If you are stressed from parenting, think about how to direct some much-needed energy back into you. Remember that finding lots of small time slots whereby you escape stress in a predictable manner will help cool "parent burnout" better than a week's vacation every six months.

These tips can help:

  • Voice boundaries and state your needs clearly. Tell your kids, "I want you to play board games while I relax for an hour."

  • Have "unstructured" Saturdays. Let everyone stay in his or her pajamas all day one Saturday per month. Watch movies or just hang out and talk.

  • Aim for no cooking two nights per week. You can still serve healthy foods, but save time by having turkey sandwiches on whole grain bread or serve fruit and low-fat cheese.

  • Hire a little help for yourself. Pay a teenager $15 to help a small child straighten his room. Or, hire someone to mow your lawn occasionally.

    Keep a notebook of ways to create some time and space for yourself. The idea is to become an expert at finding and creating options.

    One possibility: Ask a friend to come over and watch a movie with your child while you have a short break.

    Anytime you use friends, family, or grandparents to baby-sit, try to make the time fun for everybody. Rent kid-friendly movies that adults will enjoy, too. Or, order a pizza that appeals to the group.

    Above all, don't overuse your aide-de-camps.