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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, July 12, 2009

Big revelation: It's a small mouth after all


By Lorraine Gershun

Of the several things I might have been teased about over the years — my Jewish Mother tendencies, my borderline obsessive dedication to promptness and schedules, or my need for a snack of olives and pretzels almost every afternoon — it seems that my outspoken nature has probably drawn the most attention.

Whether it be in reference to my generally straightforward style of communication, my exuberantly incessant chatter, or simply the loud volume at which I often say my piece, I have been called a "Big Mouth" on more than one occasion.

When I was a senior in high school a million years ago, my classmates gave me "The Wide Mouth Frog Award." This prize served double duty. It honored me for all of the above, along with my unique talent for telling the Wide Mouth Frog joke at any opportune moment and getting a laugh every time.

I have definitely toned down the volume over the years. I've learned diplomacy as well as self-control. I no longer assume that every person in the room wants to hear what I have to say and I have even developed a modicum of skill in the listening department. But I haven't given up the smile.

While the circle of friends I've collected as an adult still find me straightforward and talkative, they do not necessarily consider me a "Big Mouth." But it's hard to see myself otherwise.

Imagine my surprise when I was at the dentist. I still have a baby tooth that never came out. There is no root or big tooth, so it has hung in there all these years. But now it is loose and they have to replace it.

The technician was measuring my mouth so she could fit in a little tray of goop to do an impression of my teeth for a mold for the replacement. She had a hard time finding the right size. "You have a small mouth," she said.

She rocked my world. Small mouth? Me? Imagine that. It changed everything.

Perhaps I, and the people around me, have been mistaken all of these years. Maybe a few negative perceptions and comments discolored my entire self-image. It certainly gave me something to chew on.

So did this new aspect of my self image. I have a small mouth. I will have to think about that. Of course it will not stop me from speaking my mind, in a reasonable way at the right time and place. Nor will I refrain from enjoying the satisfaction of deep conversation or the pleasure of small talk.

But I will embrace the possibility that there really is balance, that my big mouth will no longer get me into trouble, as long as I speak with a smile in my heart and remember when to bite my tongue.

Lorraine Gershun is a Kapolei resident and teacher living on the leeward side of paradise. Visit http://secondcity.honadvblogs.com.