Posted on: Saturday, June 20, 2009
Shoot it our way, end our bickering
By David Shapiro
This week's incoming could have a real bang as we "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused:
North Korea will fire a long-range ballistic missile toward Hawai'i in the next few weeks, a Japanese newspaper says. It's unlikely the idiots could hit us, but at least it would end the budget squabbling.
Hawai'i men are among the least likely to have a vasectomy, a national survey says. With our high taxes, you never know when you might have to sire another deduction.
Gov. Linda Lingle wants to save money by closing state offices three Fridays a month and docking workers the pay. Now that's cold to give employees a head start on weekend shopping with their pockets empty.
Lingle signed into law a bill that bans the public display of dead human bodies. The Legislature provided exceptions for funerals, museums and legislative sessions.
The budget crisis is forcing drastic cuts in the number of teams invited to high school athletic tournaments. Gotta say it: I'm sure the kids are happy to sit on the sidelines so legislators can enjoy their mondo pay raises.
The 15-foot bronze state seals hanging at the Capitol entrances were taken down after the Legislature for a $341,590 cleaning. Why bother? Lawmakers will just tarnish them again next year.
U.S. Rep. Neil Abercrombie fired the first shot of the 2010 governor's race, saying his chief Democratic rival, Mayor Mufi Hannemann, should forget about running for governor and finish building his train. Hannemann backers suggest Abercrombie should stay in Washington and water his beard.
The Hannemann administration's big-money PR campaign for transit now sports a heart-shaped logo that says, "I Love Rail." Kind of sad, actually. It reminds me of the unpopular kids in school who had to give valentines to themselves if they wanted any.
The Office of Elections may close 66 precincts next year to keep balloting costs down. They have such a gift for making it convenient not to vote.
And the quote of the week ... from Summer Baring of Kalihi on the city's increase in the highway beautification fee from $5 to $7 per vehicle: "That's ridiculous! ... All these cars on O'ahu, $5 per car, and we still have crappy roads." I hope she finds an open polling place.