Do you envision your marriage as stable and strong? Do you imagine your friendships solid enough to weather any storm?

If so, think again. Our intimate relationships and relationships with loved ones and friends are never that strong.

While relationships can be tough and lasting, most close relationships are more fragile than we think.

We need to nurture our close relationships, and above all, we need to learn how important it is to fight fair. Conflict will eventually happen in any close relationship.

"Shouting, arguing, and throwing words around carelessly will eventually damage or totally kill the closeness," says a man we'll call Daniel who recently stopped speaking to his girlfriend. "We both can hurl words like daggers!"

While it's true, for example, that most couples do quarrel, it's important to use words to heal the wounds of an argument.

You should try to soften things up verbally in order to heal some of the pain.

The lasting sting of cruel or unkind remarks in the middle of an argument erodes the foundation of an intimate relationship.

In all friendships, most of us eventually argue or feel some conflict.

That's why it's important to think ahead on how you'd manage such differences.

If your relationships are already shattered, try to put some kind of responsible friendship back into place. An apology can help. Writing a kind letter might repair some of the damage.

Above all, listen to the words you speak and how you say them. Your conversation during conflict will make or break all of your relationships.

Judi Hopson and Emma Hopson are authors of a stress management book for paramedics, firefighters and police, "Burnout To Balance: EMS Stress." Ted Hagen is a family psychologist. Contact the authors at www.hopsonglobal.com.