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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rhymes 'O the Readers

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser
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FOR ST. PADDY’S

"The shamrocks are all on display.

At last! It's St. Paddy's Day.

On March seventeen,

be sure to wear green,

because everyone's Irish today!"

— Cade Santos, 27, Kailua

• • •

"St. Patrick's Day the seventeenth

of March, a day to wear the greenth

or you get a pinch.

Don't be such a grinch.

It's all in good fun, so it seemth."

— Kathy Freire, 51, of Lihu'e

• • •

What would St. Patrick be thinkin'

to learn that his day's about drinkin'?

How sad that the man

who drove snakes from the land

is now an excuse to get stinkin'.

— Susan Madden, 64, and Robin Madden, 61, Princeville

• • •

"St. Patrick's Day comes once a year.

It's time to parade and give a cheer.

Lads and Lassies have a good day.

'Erin Go Bragh,' is what you say.

It's the time to drink lots of beer."

— Al Rogers, 82, Kane'ohe

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Part of the St. Patrick's Day fun,

limericks bring smiles to the old and the young.

We made a request.

You sent us your best.

Now we'll share with everyone.

— Zenaida Serrano

LOCAL-STYLE LIMERICKS

"Each morn at Kailua Beach,

nature continues to teach.

As waves and sand

blend sea and land,

the sun rises beyond reach."

— Ronaele Whittington, 66, Kailua

• • •

"Maui, O'ahu, Kaua'i

are islands of Hawai'i.

Pineapples and poi,

life here's no ka oi

and the weather is maika'i."

— Felice Chiapperini, 53, 'Ewa Beach

• • •

"Way back in small kid time

when da bus was only one dime

, I thought I'd live on my own someday

, but look how bad da recession stay.

Ma, too bad for you da economy da kine!"

— Salli Morita, 32, Kane'ohe

• • •

"Ahi and soy sauce are nice,

especially when eaten with rice.

And macaroni salad

makes the meal a ballad.

Now repeat the above at least twice."

— John Tallackson, 78, Pearl City

• • •

"There once was a man from Kaua'i

who dreamed about learning to fly.

He made wings that were fake

out of paper and tape.

Then jumped after closing his eyes."

— Paisley Mares, 16, Kapolei

• • •

"As tutu of eighty-five,

it's so fun to be alive.

To enjoy my keikis now,

eat ono lu'au-style chow

and go on a Pali drive."

— Mary Stewart, 85, Kailua

• • •

"I'd like to get off of this rock,

and do something great, like Barack!

But I'm frightened, it's true,

to try something new.

So I think I'll just ride 'round the block."

— Richard Fassler, 67, Honolulu

• • •

"A wahine from Kahalu'u

went to Hana to see her tutu.

She went on the ferry

with all she could carry

and came back with a case of the flu!"

— Esther Nowell, 88, Honolulu

• • •

ANIMAL APPEAL

"There once was a cat named Coop

who liked to drink warm soup

with cracker and cheese,

potatoes and peas,

while doing the hula hoop."

— Rafael Lee, 11, 'Iolani School fifth-grader

• • •

"There was once an adult kangaroo,

who dreamed he was eating his shoe.

He woke up with a grunt

to check on his runt,

and to find that his dream had come true!"

— Felix Chan, 12, Kawananakoa Middle School sixth-grader

• • •

"There once was a fly on the wall.

I wonder why it didn't fall?

Was it because its feet were stuck?

Or was it just good luck?

Or does gravity miss things so small?"

— Hazel Murao, 12, Kawananakoa Middle School sixth-grader

• • •

"In cursive to his beloved cat, Maui,

wrote verses, the poet, Howie.

Everytime a new line rhymed with feline,

Maui chimed in, 'Meowie, wowie.' "

— Patrick Daniel Adams, 42, Honolulu

• • •

"Wiggly, squiggly worm,

how you jiggle and squirm!

'Til the fish bites,

fisherman's delight.

Wiggly, squiggly worm."

— Edith Rutherford, 87, 'Ewa Beach

• • •

‘MY IRISH LIMERICK LAMENT’

"Oh, pity poor little me

with no Irish in my family tree.

I've danced a fine jig,

even kissed Paddy's pig.

But Irish I can never be!

"Even when I was a tot,

I wanted to be what I'm not.

I learned every song

just so I could belong.

But there was no gold in my pot!

"Years later when drinking green beer,

jovial and full of good cheer,

I'd try to blend in.

But a name like Zbin

sounded quite strange to the ear.

"So throughout my life on this day,

my German roots gave me away.

Irish I ain't

and I'm sure not a Saint.

But I pretend to be anyway!"

— Dianne Raemer Zbin, 73, Honolulu

• • •

JUST FOR LAUGHS

"There was an old man from Iran

whose limericks would never scan.

He explained with a grin

while sipping his gin:

I suppose it's because I always try and squeeze as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

— Dr. Martin Blinder, 62, Ka'a'awa

• • •

"There once was a big, fat baby

who liked to eat rice with gravy.

He did exercise,

was still over size.

He became so fat and lazy."

— Tanner Inouye, 10, Hongwanji Mission School fifth-grader

• • •

"There once was a man from New York

who always acted like a dork.

He wore a top hat

and carried a cat,

who ate a big rat with a fork."

— Travis Moriki, 10, Hongwanji Mission School fifth-grader

• • •

"A lovely young lass who is Asian

fell in love with a handsome Caucasian.

They married and then

had three fine children.

Now Mothers' Day's an Asian/Caucasian occasion."

— Dave Thorne, 78, of Kailua

• • •

"There once was a girl named Christina

who danced like a ballerina.

She jumped so high,

she thought she could fly.

She ended up in South Korea."

— Christina Martin, 9, Maunawili Elementary School third-grader

• • •

"There once was a boy named Kekela

who had a big green umbrella.

He picked his nose with it,

so the police gave him a ticket.

Now he's one unlucky fella!"

— Kekela Woosley-Pablo, 10, Maunawili Elementary School fourth-grader

• • •

"We're learning English, a second language.

More difficult than eating a sandwich.

When I want to eat rice,

people think I want lice.

Soon it'll be easy like guzzling a beverage."

— ESL students of Kaimuki School For Adults (instructor Sandra Hee)

• • •

"There once was a girl named Anna.

Her dad was a banana.

She loved her dog

and always drank pog

while she watched, 'Hannah Montana.' "

— Michelle Kimura, 10, 'Iolani School fifth-grader

• • •

"There once was a very old man

who drove a dirty old van.

It choked and it squeaked,

it coughed and it creaked,

but the man was still happy it ran."

— Emily Ibaan, 11, 'Iolani School fifth-grader