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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, March 29, 2009

How do you accessorize fabulousness? Ask my kid

By Treena Shapiro

My last trip to the mall had one primary objective: a visit to Claire's, the accessory store that beckons to preschoolers and keeps them coming back until they reach an age when they realize they can afford better.

It has very possibly become my daughter's favorite store, but with all the KB toy stores gone, who can tell anymore?

On this previous visit, I entered alone because I needed only one thing: a pint-sized pair of fingerless gloves that might never be worn.

But immediately upon entering, I was informed there were $2 purses, 75 percent off certain accessories and a 10 items for $10 clearance sale. The gloves were not on sale.

I wasn't exactly planning to buy anything else, but I had to look, right? You know what's so-yesterday-it's-on-clearance? "High School Musical." That fact has escaped my daughter, who thinks her super-cheap Sharpay sunglasses make her look fabulous. When she wore them to school today, her teacher greeted her with a "Hey, rock star!"

My daughter pulled off the glasses and and informed her teacher, "It's really me."

And you know what? It totally was. That's my daughter in her truest form, and proud of it.

When I think of the things I want for my daughter, I know that I don't want her to end up being a superficial material girl (a la Sharpay, actually). I'm also kind of hoping that the drama-queen thing is just a phase that she outgrows BEFORE she hits double-digits.

I'd like her to dial it back a little — perhaps not twirl around to show off her clothes, stomp around so people look at her shoes, or wear sunglasses into the classroom, for instance — but there's a part of me that likes that she does it. Because at the end of the day, what I do want is a girl who goes after what she wants and is confident that she can achieve it, no matter what.

She's already starting to figure out that no matter how fabulous she is, no accessory in the world is going to magically finish her homework, nothing she can buy in a store will allow her to manipulate time so she doesn't have to go to bed, and perhaps most importantly, she's learning (if not accepting) that we do our best to make sure her needs are met, but that her unreasonable demands are not.

After the glory days of preschool, kindergarten has been a series of letdowns, at school and at home. The hardest lesson has been that things often don't come easy, and tears and tantrums aren't the quickest route to her goals. As difficult as it is for her to accept, she's slowly starting to understand that hard work, good behavior and a cooperative spirit reap rewards — the most important being pride in her accomplishments.

But if she falls short of her accomplishments, I want her to know that it's OK. No matter what happens, I want her to be happy in her own skin, and for the most part she is. What other conclusion can you draw about a child who thinks that she can slap on a pair of sunglasses, strap on some mary janes and turn herself into a rock star?

I get to peel away all the sparkle and sheen and see that she's merely coated with confidence, not filled with it. She really does want to be a rock star, but she knows it's going to take more than a costume. Her latest request: vocal and dance lessons.

When she's not being a reporter, Treena Shapiro is busy with her real job, raising a son and daughter. Check out her blog at www.HonoluluAdvertiser.com/Blogs.

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com.