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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Seeing moms, dads through marketers’ eyes


By Treena Shapiro

For every holiday, there's sure to be a slew of gift ideas flooding my e-mail inbox.

I usually zip through them, pausing only when something is relevant to work. So in the weeks leading up to Mother's Day, I didn't spend a lot of time pondering all the new and traditional ideas for Mother's Day gifts, except the ones that caught my fancy.

It was the regular fare: flower, spa and food gifts, ranging from luxurious to recession-priced. My favorite was the subscription to BookSwim, described as "the Netflix of books," which seemed a more practical solution than picking one of the dozens of books with "Mom" in the title.

One dubious idea did give me pause: Instead of buying Mom jewelry, how about buying her insurance to cover the jewelry she already has? The cynic in me thought, if you were going to go that route, why not buy her life insurance instead? It's a gift to her that keeps on giving ... eventually back to you.

But Mother's Day had passed before I actually started really scrutinizing the gift ideas and that was only because as soon as the moms had been taken care of, the Father's Day suggestions started flowing in.

And again I wouldn't have thought anything of it except that a trend caught my eye.

It started with an e-mail that proposed Father's Day whiskey gifts for every budget. A bit later, I received a long press release on high-end single-malt Scotch, including a link to www.Malts.com where you can find help if you're looking for a new brand to match your father's taste. And if your dad's a Johnnie Walker man to the core, why change him when you can just get him an engraved bottle? (If your dad prefers tequila, Corzo is doing personalized labels.)

To be fair, I did get a list of recipes for healthy Mother's Day cocktails, but that's hardly the same thing. And it's not the point.

Mother's Day gifts tend to be mommyish. Even if the gift is a spa treatment, it's a reward for all the pampering moms do for the rest of the family. But the bulk of the ideas are pretty kid-centric, the kid creations, the games to play with mom or the seemingly infinite ways to display kids' photos and art.

There's nothing wrong with that. What's Mother's Day for if not to celebrate having kids?

But what does that mean for dads, who marketers think need power tools or power putty, car accessories, games, sports equipment and digital toys? The marketing campaigns almost make it seem like moms just get a short time out, while dads get to drink, play and tinker around on a regular basis away from their kids and the gift suggestions seem to encourage this.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but wondering why there aren't more daddy promotions. There might be a lot of dads who come home at 5, drink Scotch until dinner is served, then retreat to their man cave to do whatever it is men do. But most of the dads I know don't.

They're playing an active role in the home. They're cooking, cleaning, watching kids. Sure, they might want a Scotch on the rocks after a long day of work, followed by an evening of kid time, but I suspect all parents end up craving time away from their kids. But not on Father's Day. Like Mother's Day, it's the time to enjoy being a parent. Hopefully, you don't need a bottle of whiskey to get you through it.