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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, October 17, 2009

Hundreds on Big Island gather to remember those lost to domestic violence


By Peter Sur
Hawaii Tribune-Herald

Linked by a common tragedy, hundreds of people touched by domestic violence joined together on the Big Island in Hilo to remember their loved ones.

The 21st annual Family Peace Walk and Vigil held Friday evening featured a pau hana march from the Kamehameha I statue to Mooheau Bandstand. There were some new faces this year, because of the four most recent deaths on the Big Island that have been linked to domestic violence.

The list of victims who were remembered ranged from Phyllis Dedrick, knifed by her estranged husband in 1989, to Javieanne Win, the 5-year-old who was allegedly beaten, raped and drowned in a bathtub by her mother's boyfriend last month.

May Lake and husband Derrick Chesterson didn't know Dedrick, a double murder victim along with Daniel Fox, but they carried the sign bearing her name.

"I'm here to support all those women and men who are there to help people move from violent situations to peaceful environments," said Lake, a social worker.

Cassie Kamae carried a large poster bearing the face and name of her late sister, Daysha Aiona Aka, murdered by her estranged boyfriend in 2006.

"We come every year," Kamae said. "It's going to be three years since her passing" on Nov. 1. Aiona Aka's son was also there.

Kamae said domestic violence is a cycle.

The Santos family showed support for one of their own, Maris Santos-Wilkerson, shot to death in Maryland last summer, allegedly by her live-in boyfriend. Her death left behind six shocked sisters, a brother, a father and a stepmom, who wore white shirts in her memory.

"It's hard for us to deal with it at this time. It's hard to explain how we feel," said sister Alvina Brown.

"It's hard without her," said sister Lola Castro. "We just miss her a whole lot."

The message they had for women in abusive relationships was simple: Get out as soon as you can.

As they walked along the makai sidewalk of Kamehameha Avenue, drivers honked their horns in support. Shortly after 5 p.m. they reached the Mooheau Bandstand, where a large quilt with the names and faces of recent victims was hung.

They lit candles and stood in silence -- as best they could amid the usual noise of Mooheau Park -- while YWCA President Lorraine Godoy read "Remember My Name," a poem that was written from the perspective of a murdered woman.

Prosecuting Attorney Jay Kimura, whose office helped to coordinate the rally, presented Denby Toci with the Purple Ribbon Award, given annually to someone in the community who fights domestic violence.

Toci is the manager of the East Hawaii Domestic Abuse Shelter, and a survivor of a 17-year abusive relationship.

In her acceptance speech, Toci told of the day she stood before her machete-wielding husband, and mustered the strength to tell him, "go for it."

"The police came, and I was saved," she said.

Russell Mauga offered the closing prayer and led those present in a singing of "Hawaii Aloha." His brother Cameron Mauga was shot dead in 2008, allegedly by Cameron's brother-in-law.

"My prayer," Mauga said, "is that everyone realizes that there's no excuse for abuse."