JOURNALISTS ON PARADE

There's only one thing more inspiring than seeing KITV news anchor Mahealani Richardson in a traffic cone brassiere: seeing a pregnant Richardson as a nun.

And she really nails it.

"Gridiron," the Society of Professional Journalists' annual fundraiser in the form of a Broadway revue-like stage show, opens tonight for a three-show run at Diamond Head Theatre. Watch as a cast of local journalists and other media types (with reinforcement from veteran theater pros like Cathy Foy) reinterpret the year's biggest, best and most ridiculous news stories in song, dance and skits — all heavy on the satire. KGMB9 weather anchor Dan Cooke returns this year as Gov. Linda Lingle. And just between us: He makes a pair of beige pumps really shine.

Disclosure: One of us here at TGIF is also starring in the show. You've been warned.

"Gridiron" / 8 tonight, 3 and 8 p.m. Saturday / Diamond Head Theatre / $40, $60 / www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400

GETTING IN THE SPIRIT

Get a head start on Halloween at the Mission Houses Museum's "Victorian Horrors" (6:30 p.m. Saturday, $25, 447-3929), and walk the haunted grounds by candlelight. Creepy!

JACK IS BACK

Get Jack Johnson's anticipated European tour DVD, "En Concert," on DVD Tuesday, and then see the film on the big screen Nov. 13 and 14 when Johnson hosts a screening of the film at Hawaii Theatre. For details on the DVD and the show: www.jackjohnson.com.

THE REEL OBAMA

Oceanic Time Warner Cable will host a free screening of the HBO documentary "By The People: The Election of Barack Obama" at 5:30 p.m. Thursday at the Waikíkí Shell. Audience members are asked to bring a canned food donation for the Hawaii Foodbank (http://oceanic.com/obama).

THE DON OF HILARITY

Being a white, bald guy is funny — if you're Don Barnhart. See for yourself when the stand-up comic does a one-night-only show at 8 p.m. Wednesday at Pipeline Café. Tickets are $20 and $40 at www.groovetickets.com.

GEEKS UNITE!

It's that time again, geeks, for the annual Geek Day and Mactoberfest at Leeward Community College. The day-long event of techie-centric workshops starts at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday. It's free, and yes, PCs are welcome (www.leeward.hawaii.edu/GeekDay).

CAPTURE THE FLAG

James B. McCarthy doesn't just teach American history, he rocks it out. Listen and learn as he sings his way through time in "Stripes and Stars: A Surprising History of the United States," opening at 7:30 tonight at Tenney Theatre ($8-$16, 839-9885).

MAGIC MUSHROOM

THE MUSHROOM MUSIC FESTIVAL IS BACK, PEOPLE!

Mushroom Music Festival with Mark Farina / 10 p.m. Saturday / Pipeline Café /$15, for 16 and older / www.groovetickets.com