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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, January 16, 2010

Candidate wish list: a heart, courage

By David Shapiro

The candidates are getting as hard to count as the votes as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:

• Former Democratic Party chairman Brian Schatz made it official that he's joining the long list of Democrats running for lieutenant governor. This ballot will be able to do double duty as the 2010 Census.

• The race in the 1st Congressional District is looking like a visit to The Wizard of Oz as the candidates jockey to define themselves. Ed Case needs a heart, Charles Djou seeks courage and Colleen Hanabusa just wants the Wiz to delay the special election.

• The state administration will ask the Legislature to pay for the congressional election with $1.3 million from an accounting error. Gee, I hope they do a better job of counting the votes than they did counting the money.

• Gov. Linda Lingle's office found the state's priceless moon rocks from the Apollo landings that were feared lost. They were gathering dust in an old filing cabinet right next to Lingle's promised "New Beginning."

• Lingle says the Legislature should forget about civil unions this year and focus all of its attention on the budget and economy. I wonder if it's love and money that don't mix here or love and politics.

• Some lawmakers are proposing that the state build a campground for the chronically homeless. It could be modeled after the Capitol, which is a campground for the chronically clueless.

• The state and city are debating who is responsible for removing mounds of rubbish piling up on Farrington Highway near Mākaha. That's typical. The public officials point fingers while the helpless public holds its nose.

• The City Council put the skids on Mayor Mufi Hannemann's proposal to rename the park at Magic Island after President Obama. I guess that blows the mayor's chances of getting the Washington Monument renamed after him.

• Car dealer Jimmy Pflueger is appealing a judge's decision to uphold manslaughter charges against him in the Kaloko Dam tragedy. The judge will check with his manager and see what he can do.

And the quote of the week ... from GOP chairman Jonah Kaauwai on the challenge facing local Republicans: "A whole bunch of people are walking around with light bulbs on their heads. Our job is to turn on the light." The ones with propellers on their heads are Democrats.