Two of the most inspiring scenes on TV from earthquake-ravaged Haiti had to be the United Nations marching band practicing while victims of the quake still lay under piles of rubble just feet away and U.N. aid workers throwing boxes of food and water back into a panel truck and fleeing back to the warehouse because the hungry and thirsty Haitians were becoming bothersome. I'm not even kidding. That actually happened. I didn't even know the United Nations had its own marching band.

But seeing the United Nations in action (or inaction) warmed my heart and made me think about other great moments in United Nations history.

• 1945: First U.N. General Assembly meeting. Fifty-one nations met for 17 hours to decide what to have for lunch.

• 1946: Confusing its charter with that of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences, U.N. declares "It's A Wonderful Life" best picture of the year.

• 1947: Trygve Lie of Norway becomes first Secretary-General (true!), followed in turn by Fredrick Von Fib of Austria, Percival Prevaricator of Sweden and Wendell Whopper of Ecuador (not so true).

• 1948: First U.N. mission established in Palestine. Peace reigns thereafter in Middle East.

• 1949: Cornerstone for construction of United Nations Headquarters inadvertently laid in Agana, Guam.

• 1954: U.N. Marching Band wins Nobel Peace Prize for entertaining European refugees.

• 1963: In first emergency special session, U.N. Security Council votes arms embargo against the Salvation Army.

• 1967: U.N. General Assembly re-declares peace in the Middle East. Calls Six-Day War "a tie."

• 1970: U.N. eliminates global racial discrimination.

• 1972: Because of a typo in transcription, the First U.N. Environmental Conference votes to fight "global worming."

• 1977: U.N. Security Council votes arms embargo against Morristown, N.J.

• 1981: To hearty laughter, U.N. General Assembly announces Declaration on the Elimination of All Forms of Intolerance and Discrimination Based on Religion or Belief.

• 1982: U.N.'s new Convention of the Law of the Chicken of the Sea signed by 17 nations and the Van Camp Seafood Co.

• 1982: U.N. security council votes arms embargo against Antarctica.

• 1985: In Nairobi, U.N. holds first "Conference on Women" at Club Hubba Hubba. All-male General Assembly votes to hold similar conferences on women monthly.

• 1992: First U.N. Conference on Environment and Development, dubbed the "Earth Summit," held in Morristown, N.J., the largest governmental gathering in the history of Morristown, N.J. Attendees pass "Agenda 21," which states: "Next year invite those chicks from Nairobi."

• 1994: Because of a global "Boutros" shortage," U.N. Secretary-General Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali agrees to shorten his name to just Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

• 1996: After days of acrimonious debate, the U.N. General Assembly votes that the color of U.N. peacekeeper helmets will be "Sky Blue" instead of "Baby Blue" or "Azure Mist."

• U.N. Marching Band receives $10 billion donation from United States, invades Monaco.

Read Charles Memminger's blog at http://charleyworld.honadvblogs.com.