Kalona
Moderator
Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 7627 |
Aloha All
I'm back again. I am actually having a slow day....KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!
I did some more house hunting. After feeling like a peasant who probably couldn't afford no more then a cardboard box, I decided it was time to cheer myself up. And I went and cked out a few more multi million dollar homes. WOW those people really know how to live.
I must be going through a pre-mid life crisis cause all I am thinking about lately is how to increase my ability to afford such a place so I can take in more kids and help build their self esteem and give them a loving home they can call their HANAI family from the heart. SEEEEEE I have brain damage from doing this all these years!!! LOL LOL I have this dream of these kids and I living in this great big house, and talking story at dinner together and doing all these fun things, even if just cruising around together.
I've never been materialistic. In fact I am probably too generous of a person. So if any of you ever hear of such a place at some really great once in a life time deal. Let me know. LOL!!!
We want a great ocean view, a pool, LMAOO several bedrooms and a huge back yard to keep our big dogs. LOL Or a huge lanai would be equally great. LOL LOL The metro area is the best.
OK now all I have to do is hope a guy like Bill gates reads this and says hmmmm. LOL LOL!! OMG Seee what happens to ur mind when ur not busy enough for a bit? LOL
And now on to reality! LMAO Here's some more humor for u all to enjoy. Dagggg I hope my pager goes off real soon!
Huggs ALL
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OMG!!!!!!! DAGGG This one got me!!! Snagged me bad!! LOL
A Christmas Story...
Right before Christmas I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot
as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance. As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing.
The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.
Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand. Thinking that he had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong.
He told me his sad story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and four sisters. His father had died when he was nine years old. His mother was poorly educated and worked two full time jobs. She made very little to support her large family. Nevertheless, she had managed
to skimp and save two hundred dollars to buy her children Christmas presents.
The young boy had been dropped off, by his mother, on the way to her second job. He was to use the money to buy presents for all his siblings and save just enough to take the bus home. He had not even entered the mall, when an older boy grabbed one of the hundred dollar bills and disappeared into the night.
"Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked.
The boy said, "I did."
"And nobody came to help you?" I queried.
The boy stared at the sidewalk and sadly shook his head. "How loud did you scream?" I inquired.
The soft-spoken boy looked up and meekly whispered, "Help me!"
I realized that absolutely no one could have heard that poor boy cry for help. So I grabbed his other hundred and ran to my car.
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
Signed,
Kenneth Lay
Enron CEO
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CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER.......
The First Affair
There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child.
"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
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The Second Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then he dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered." Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
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The Third Affair
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy, the barman replied "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy.
"4 cents", he replies.
"FOUR cents! That's great I would like to meet the owner - so tell me where's the Guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy looks at the barman and says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender very calmly replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."
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The Fourth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining candlelight vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, tears running down her face, her praying roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Becky," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I have to tell you I... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!"
"I know" Becky whispered softly.... "That's why I poisoned you"
IP: Logged
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Mar. 02, 2002 10:27 PM
Congratulations Kalona!!
LOL!!
Talking Story
Re: Talking Story
Do you think that perhaps that someone at the Advertiser is related to Clyde, which may have had something to do with it's sudden cancellation from this DB? .....or perhaps, Clyde's attorney, Osten-"dork" filed a complaint against the Advertiser with possible civil suit implications for what he feels may be an unfair judgement by the majority of posters on these threads against his client and therefore the Advertiser balked in continuing this particular topic?
