Dazed: r u going out 2nite?

Confused: huh?

Immediate responses from two-way pagers, cell phone text messages or instant messaging can be instantly gratifying or instantly misleading.

The devices have cleared a new path for communication in relationships.

Some praise messaging as a fast and open way to communicate with the ones they love or like. Others say close and personal contact can't be replaced.

Nicholas Boothman is the author of "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" (Workman, $15.95), and "How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less" (Workman, $16.95). He is also an advertising photographer who saw the importance of establishing a rapport with his clients.

Communication depends on three factors — words, tone of voice and facial expressions — Boothman says. And that face-to-face contact accounts for almost half of what you understand.

Text messaging strips out every communication tool but words.

"IM is similar to having a pen pal, except it is faster and less crafted," Boothman says.

And here's the rub.

Confused: Hello? R u still there?

Dazed: yea, right ...

Although people might be communicating more frequently and faster, expectations for an instant response can mean messages are poorly crafted, resulting in confusion.

To prevent this, Boothman suggests involving your senses.

"Be very descriptive when writing to one another and put things into context so the message you send isn't misinterpreted," he says.

The spontaneity of IM means description has to be on the fly, and the expectation of a speedy reply can contribute to a misunderstanding.

Nichele Hoskins, a freelance editor in Birmingham, Ala., and Charlyne McWilliams, a public-relations specialist in Silver Spring, Md., say they almost lost their friendship through instant messaging.

After Hoskins moved from Washington in 2001, instant messaging was the "quickest, cheapest and easiest way to stay in touch," McWilliams says.

"I type faster than Nichele," McWilliams says. "When I saw that she was unresponsive to my messages, I thought she didn't care."

However, Hoskins simply had her attention diverted at work, so her responses were delayed. When Hoskins saw McWilliams signed off abruptly, she decided to sign off, too.

"I thought we were just checking in on each other, like we usually do," Hoskins says. "I didn't know she wanted to talk."

After this miscommunication, they cleared the air and decided not to lose a friendship over something so small.

"Sometimes you just have to pay attention to people's different communication styles," McWilliams says. "So now I wait a little longer for her to respond."

New relationships have been played on fast forward from shy beginning to abrupt end in misunderstood instant and text messages.

"There is room for misinterpretation ... in IM or text. At the same time, text by itself isn't an impoverished medium," says Susan Herring, editor of the Journal of Computer Mediated Communication. "Think about all the great writers like Shakespeare."

An IM session might not be the best spot in which to compose a sonnet in iambic pentameter, but electronic messaging isn't out of the question when trying to stay connected with someone.

Some of Herring's studies have found that e-mail, text messaging and paging were good ways for people to stay in touch.

"I noticed that people are overwhelmingly nice and supportive. Everything is 'cool,' 'wusup,' 'sweet,' or 'great.' In private, people seem to be kinder and show genuine feelings," says Herring, information science professor at Indiana University in Bloomington.

Technology can't translate social cues or body language and allows a user to hide behind emoticons, those smiley faces and winking symbols created precisely because electronic messaging can seem stark.

"Relationships can't exist without emotional feedback," Boothman says. "When you tell someone something in person, you can see their reaction instantly. With messages, you could sit for a while and respond in a way different from your true reaction."