Lori Kaneshige didn't want to be an oncology nurse. She didn't think she was tough enough to work with people battling cancer.

As it turned out, she was tough enough to walk the walk.

Three years ago, she was preparing to teach women in a breast cancer support group how to do self-exams when she found a lump in her own breast. Kaneshige went from being facilitator to becoming the group's newest member.

"That's the path my life took," she says. "I'm finding my purpose slowly and that is showing me my purpose, slowly."

With her years of nursing education, Kaneshige knew what to expect. Still, it was harder than she imagined. All the possible side-effects of treatment seemed to find her. "They always say nurses get it the worst," Kaneshige says.

Going through cancer treatment affected her nursing in ways she can't even number or name. She sums it up by saying, "I now feel empathy. I can relate on a new level."

Kaneshige was just named the 2005 Mana'olana Nurse of Hope by the Oncology Nursing Society Hawai'i Chapter.

The Mana'olana program began in the 1970s in a time when cancer was thought to mean inevitable death and hope was hard to come by. In the beginning, the Nurse of Hope spent her year like a pageant winner, doing public appearances, talking about early detection and advances being made in treatment, spreading the message that there was a reason to hope. For years, the Mana'olana winner would even make an appearance on "Let's Go Fishing" — anything to get the word out.

"I asked them OK, so what do I have to do now? And they go oh, we'll get that list to you," Kaneshige said.

She's up for the challenge.

Outreach and education are already a big part of her life.

In addition to her work at Kuakini, Kaneshige volunteers with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, and is heading a project that will take support groups into communities.

"Most support groups meet in hospitals," Kaneshige explains. "We'll do a traveling support group, taking educational speakers to communities."

She's also busy planning Hawai'i's first breast cancer survivors' conference, set for October in Waikiki. Close to 150 survivors are expected to attend.

As for her own walk through cancer, Kaneshige lives knowing there are no guarantees.

"I don't think you ever are considered cured. It's never gone. There could just be a little cancer cell waiting somewhere. But I'm a survivor."

When asked what hope in cancer care meant to her, Kaneshige wrote:

I know someone is looking for a cure.

I know advances are being made in "the battle" every day.

I know survival is not the only way to win the battle.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.