"Oh, balderdash!" my mom said.

I must have been about 11 years old, attempting to convince her to allow me to go to the park late one evening.

She could not be persuaded.

"Balderdash!" was the phrase she often used when she disagreed with me. As a child, I never did have to ask for further clarification. Nor did I try to argue my point.

I knew that when my mom said, "Balderdash!," that was it.

There were other phrases she used to reflect her opinion of a situation or issue. Back in the 1970s, when Waiahole and Waikane valleys were targeted for development, the community banded together to fight the construction of homes on farmlands. My mom heard the news and couldn't contain herself.

"Heavens to Betsy!" she said.

I knew that the words she uttered could only mean that she was alarmed. The next day, she dragged us down to the picket line to protest the development of the agricultural lands.

Those same phrases have carried over into my adult life.

A few years ago, my daughter, who was at college in Washington at the time, urged me to visit her.

I was worried about the expense. I confided in my mom, who without hesitation said, "You've got to strike while the iron is hot!"

That day, I made reservations to fly to Washington.

My eldest son is familiar with my mom's phrases. One day, he was watching Sunday football on television. There was laundry that needed to be folded. I wanted him to fold clothes while engaging with the tube.

"Son," I asked. "Why don't you make yourself useful as well as ornamental?"

"Huh?" he said, looking at me with a blank expression.

"Fold the clothes, please," I ordered.

"Yeah, OK, next commercial, Mom," he replied.

The phrases my mom used over the years shaped who I am today.

When I feel distraught, I hear her words echo in my mind. "It's not the end of the world!"

My mom had a great influence on me.

She taught me perseverance, compassion and integrity.

She encouraged me to remain calm in stressful situations and to choose my words carefully.

But sometimes, I find that shouting, "Heavens to Betsy!" to someone who has just cut me off on the freeway, doesn't quite have the same impact as other choice phrases I know.