I've received a good number of inquiries of late concerning two subjects of particular interest to parents of teens.

"What do you think about co-ed sleepovers, John?" As any regular reader of this column would anticipate, I do not approve of co-ed sleepovers under any circumstances. And yes, I am aware that co-ed sleepover and sex party are not necessarily synonymous, but these events definitely present teens with a certain amount of temptation along with a certain amount of opportunity, and the combination is potentially volatile. Responsible parents do not put their children into risky situations of this sort, period.

Other experts disagree. They make a case for judging each co-ed sleepover on its own merits. Heretofore responsible and trustworthy teens should be allowed the privilege, they say. I conclude that through some miraculous process, these pundits skipped their own adolescences. Only that would explain their naivete. The fact is, otherwise responsible and trustworthy teens have been known to seize opportunities to have sex. Believe it or not, even some straight-A students, student council presidents, and hall monitors have had sex! And even become pregnant! My point is that neither lack of intent nor lack of precedent guarantees a safe outcome for a teen participating in a co-ed sleepover.

A 2002 "Teen People" magazine survey found that of close to 1,000 teens who had participated in co-ed sleepovers, 83 percent either had or knew someone who had "fooled around" at one. Granted, that doesn't mean 83 percent of teens fool around at co-ed sleepovers, but an awful lot of them do — let's say half. Do 50 percent of kids who go to co-ed sleepovers intend to fool around? I doubt it, but teens being teens, some 50 percent take advantage of the opportunity to do so.

"Should I buy a car for my 16-year-old?" In the hands of a teenager, a car is a potential weapon of mass destruction. The only teens who should be allowed to put the lives of others at risk are those who have demonstrated a consistent sense of responsibility. This eliminates teens who are habitually defiant toward authority, do not think adults have a right to limit their freedoms, do not respect adult rules, do not take their academic responsibilities seriously, or have already engaged in anti-social behavior such as the illicit imbibing of alcoholic beverages. If any one of those is true of your teen, I recommend that before giving further consideration to helping him acquire a car, you require him to demonstrate, for a period of not less than one year, that he has realized the error of his ways.

Teenagers who have to get jobs and help pay for their cars as well as their car insurance will take much better care of their cars and the responsibility than teenagers whose parents simply give them cars.

John Rosemond is a family psychologist. Reach him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th St., Suite 26B, Indianapolis, IN 46240 or through www.rosemond.com.