Why did he ask me those questions?

They have occupied my mind ever since. Actually, the first question seemed like a no-brainer: "Do you love Jesus?"

"Of course," I said boldly.

Then he asked, "How much do you love Jesus?"

I paused and cautiously asked him, "What do you mean?"

"On a 1 to 10 scale, rate your love for Jesus," he responded.

My initial impulse was to say 10, but I caught myself before answering presumptuously.

As I pondered, he said, "Take your time and also consider this follow-up question: Does your lifestyle support your rating?"

I then heard myself saying that I needed more time to carefully consider these questions and that I would get back to him.

Later a thought came to mind that he was asking if I'm walking my talk. How rude!

As I reflected on these questions, I desperately wanted to say that my love for Jesus is a 10. However, could I honestly say that my lifestyle supports this rating? But then if my love for Jesus is less than 10, what am I saying?

That my priorities are misplaced?

That Jesus might not be my first love that I profess him to be?

That my heart has become lukewarm or even cold without being aware of it?

As I continued to ponder, a thought popped into my mind: What is the opposite of love? Hate was my first answer, but the longer I considered, the word "selfish" came to the forefront.

When Jesus spoke about discipleship, his first condition was to deny self. Jesus also said that those who love him would obey his commandments.

So what keeps us from obeying his commands? Doesn't Jesus tell us that we must love him beyond mere words; that we must love him with both our words and our actions?

Suddenly, things made sense. I immediately confessed my sin, receiving God's forgiveness and peace.

I then thanked The Holy Spirit for asking me those three probing questions and for keeping me focused on Jesus, my first love.

Russell Stephen Pang attends Faith Baptist Church. Expressions of Faith is a column that welcomes submissions from pastors, priests, lay workers and other leaders in faith and spirituality. E-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or call 525-8035. Articles submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.