I played an early nine holes of golf first thing in the morning, but by the time I got home, my head was throbbing.

It was nothing more than a headache, but it was painful enough to shut me down for the day. Luckily, the only thing on the Sunday docket was a reunion for friends scheduled for 3 p.m. at Kaka'ako Park. I figured that some rest and few ibuprofen would do the trick. So I watched a little TV, took my meds and lay on the sofa for a couple of hours and then snoozed.

I woke up at 3:30 p.m., a half-hour late for the reunion. When I asked my wife why she hadn't woken me earlier, she said she thought the sleep would do me good. As it turned out the nap was fitful and I remember both she and my daughter checking up on me about every half-hour or so. Still, I found solace in her concern.

Every family has its own special cures for common illnesses.

My mother-in-law recommends a shot of whiskey mixed with lemon and honey just before bed for a sore throat. I don't know if this actually has any medicinal impact, but it sure makes having a sore throat more enjoyable.

My buddy swears that the best way to break a fever is to sweat it out.

My father-in-law is convinced that good old-fashion aspirin is the ultimate cure-all.

I am not a doctor and I do not play one on TV so I can't tell you if any of these "cures" really work. But I am not sure that really matters. In fact, when it comes to the common cold, or the occasional headache for that matter, I am not sure a cure is what we need.

It seems to me that what we have here is a spelling error that has never been corrected. We do not need a cure, we need some care. Simply remove the "u" and replace it with an "a" and you have the answer to all of our common ailments.

In fact, if we applied a little care with just a bit more regularity, we may avoid most illnesses altogether. Caring is curative, but it also has preventative properties.

My wife and my daughter doted on me last Sunday. And while I believe that men suffer from innate helplessness, I am also confident that caring is a natural part of being human. We are never kinder to each other than when one of our own takes ill. It makes you wonder why we aren't that way more often. I have seen lifelong enemies come to each other's side when illness strikes.

Outside of the attention-seeking hypochondriac, illness may be the species' way of meeting some basic need that modern society simply has no time for.

Most folks insist on "toughing it out" and as a society we value the employee who shows up to the job regardless of their physical or mental health.

To me this is not a sign of strength, but may be an indicator of a larger societal ailment.

No, if I get sick, I will take the aspirin, take the blanket and especially take the whiskey. But I know that if I want to get better all I need to do is "take care" of myself and "accept the care" offered by my loved ones.

Michael DeMattos is a faculty member of the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. He lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter and two dogs.