She has been working since she was 15 years old to care for her baby and her mother, who has a mental disorder. She was also in a terribly violent abusive relationship.

The odds seemed stacked against this single mother, who is now 31 and has three children — 4, 8 and 15. But she never gave up, no matter how much of a struggle it was.

The single mom, who asked not to be identified, survived the abusive relationship and has a full-time job in the medical field. But even with her earnings and her mother's Social Security income, she still finds it difficult to support the household of five.

Sometimes money is so tight she skips meals so her family has enough to eat. She keeps any pain and exhaustion to herself, carrying the burden alone. Sometimes she cries when her family is asleep.

"It's hard because you want to hurt, too," she said. "You want to be tired ... but you cannot because you're the head of the household. You have to get up and take the kids to school."

Her 54-year-old mother lives with them and is a "special tutu" for the grandchildren. But because of her mother's mental disability, this single mom can't lean on her for emotional support or advice. Even as an adult, it still saddens her.

"Going through times like this in my life, you yearn for your mother's love," she said. "I don't care what kind of mother you had. ... You yearn for your mother's love — that comfort, that security of knowing that everything's going to be all right."

This single mother tries her best to make her children happy and said it's her children's joy that gives her strength. She usually can't afford to take them to the movies, so she'll take them to the park or the pool or treat them to McDonald's dollar menu on the weekend. She says she's lucky that her children are easy to please.

But she's still worried about what she'll be able to do for her children and mother this Christmas. The family, which has Section 8 housing assistance, recently moved to a new home and is dealing with extra moving and housing costs on top of normal household expenses.

"I just want them to have a nice Christmas," she said.

The family's wish list includes clothes, two dressers, a day bed or a twin bed for her 8-year-old daughter, and a dining table large enough to accommodate five people.

Her 4-year-old son has been asking for Heelys and Spider-Man or Transformers toys; her 8-year-old daughter would like some Heelys or roller skates. Her 15-year-old son's wish list includes clothes, size 7 shoes and, if possible, an Xbox 360.

The single mom would also like for her mother to have a sundress or some kind of fragrance.

The oldest boy wears size 16-18 pants and children's extra large/men's small shirt. Her daughter wears a children's size 8 pants and medium shirt/dress; and her 4-year-old son wears a 4T pants and small/medium shirt.

The single mom wears a size 3 pants and medium shirt/dress, and her mother wears a size 16 pants and large shirt/dress.

RECENT DONATIONS TO THE ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND

Stephen Knight $300

Maureen Ballard $200

Brian Bozlee $100

G. Cunningham $100

Michael Hu $100

Mel, Dar, Chad & Quin $100

Gail Painter Cunningham $100

PGS $100

Calvin Komata $75

M.B. Alexander $50

Erin Donalson $50

Liz & Jim Ferguson $50

Song Yun Han & Takashi Nakamura $50

Richard & Norma Ma $50

Chantelle Witt in memory of Gary Witt $50

Clarence Y.F. Liu $30

Brocky Boy $25

Debra Ann Chun $25

Dani, Jessi, Shane &

Sierra $25

Bruce Ellinwood $25

Pat Franklin in loving memory of Bill & Ludie

Franklin $25

Dennis Kawahara $25

Robert Kure $25

Rachel Lee $25

Diane Roche in memory of my Dad, Tom Matsumura $25

Tiana, Chasity & Preston $25

Daniel Tompkins $25

Malia Yoshida $25

Rory Santos $20

Dawnyette Sheldon & Dana Kalima $20

Ryder Blaze Viloria Ramos $5

Anonymous in loving memory of Francie & Lani Thomas $100

Anonymous $100

Anonymous $100

Anonymous $100

Anonymous in memory of Joel Seavey $25

Anonymous $25

Total $2,300

Previous total $75,743.64

Total to date $78,043.64

Reach Lynda Arakawa at larakawa@honoluluadvertiser.com.