Soon after having my first child, I gave up on dangling earrings. Then I gave up necklaces and all other jewelry, except for a watch.

Soon it was the color white, followed by pastels.

I couldn't ever bring myself to give up on solid darks completely, because I'm never more comfortable than when I'm wearing a black T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, even if they do have random kid stuff stained into them.

About the time that my son stopped feeling compelled to smudge every article of clothing I owned, along came kid No. 2, who has lightning-fast hands and a killer grip.

I swear, it's only a relatively high pain threshold that keeps me from chopping off my hair. She doesn't just go for the hair, though. Over the past few months, I've discovered several pieces of my wardrobe I would be better off storing away until they become retro and cool again, like: