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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, July 13, 2007

13 to-dos on the 13th

Advertiser Staff

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Daniel Gillies in the flick "Captivity".

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Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

"The Darkness" video game.

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Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Ralph Fiennes is evil Voldemort in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix".

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Ponder these trivial tidbits in considering whether Friday the 13th's reputation as a historically proven day of bad luck is deserved.

The accordion was patented by inventor Anthony Foss on Friday, Jan. 13, 1854. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were born on Friday, June 13, 1986. A thousand or so "Friday the 13th" sequels arrived in movie theaters on Friday the 13ths between 1980 and 2003.

Black Friday? Perhaps.

As with many superstitions, the precise origins of Friday the 13th's dark reputation are unclear, while rumors abound.

The number 13 has long been considered bad luck for equally sketchy reasons.

Attach the dreaded number to Friday — the day Christian tradition says Jesus was crucified, a day sailors long refused to ship out to sea because it was the supposed first rainy day of the Bible's Great Flood, the weekday "Battlefield Earth" premiered in movie theaters in May 2000 — and one can sort of understand long-standing fears of Black Friday's power.

We nonbelievers at TGIF, however — a place where Fridays are always sweet — found 13 things you can do out and about and at home today, that come with and without reminders of the day's undertones of bad luck.

Enjoy these responsibly. And stay lucky out there.

1. WATCH THE GOOD 'FRIDAY THE 13TH' FLICKS

Sure, that's a lot like saying, "Hey, check out the best of the 'Police Academy' canon!" But if you're not going to watch a "Friday the 13th" movie on Friday the 13th, I ask you, just when will you savor this oeuvre?

There are nine official "Friday the 13th" films and a couple of offshoots documenting Camp Crystal Lake's Jason, the hockey-masked killer of young, promiscuous campers, on his walk through this world, other worlds and, briefly, Manhattan. Though none are available at the iTunes Store (The horror!) you can rent them all.

A guide to the good and the bad follows. The first cuts are the deepest:

  • "Friday the 13th" (1980). Kevin Bacon takes one in the throat for the first group of camp counselors. Jason's mom is the killer! WATCH IT!

  • "Friday the 13th Part 2" (1981). His mom lied! Jason didn't drown. Ticked off, he takes over where she left off. WATCH IT!

  • "Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D" (1982). Jason adopts his famous hockey mask here. But the cheap effects are lame without equally cheap 3D specs. KILL IT!

  • "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" (1984). The first of two "Friday" flicks promising "final" in the title. One of the Coreys (Feldman) kills Jason. Crispin "George McFly from 'Back to the Future' " Glover co-stars. WATCH IT!

  • "Friday the 13th: A New Beginning" (1985). Too busy filming "The Goonies," Feldman phones in a cameo. The killer is revealed to be some dude posing as Jason. KILL IT!

  • "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives" (1986). Jason is dug up and struck by lightning, which brings him back to zombie-like life. Surprisingly, it's all pretty funny. WATCH IT!

  • "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood" (1988). Imprisoned under the waters of Camp Crystal Lake at the end of "VI," Jason is revived by a girl with telekinetic powers. KILL IT!

  • "Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" (1989). New York only figures in the flick's last third, and much of that is actually Vancouver. Is that really Kelly Hu? KILL IT!

  • "Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday" (1993). Jason appears only at the beginning and end. The Ginsu-edged claws of "Nightmare on Elm Street's" Freddy Krueger grab the dead-again Jason's discarded hockey mask in the final scene. Folks excited by this should seek therapy. KILL IT!

  • "Jason X" (2002). After 10 years between flicks, the best screenwriters can come up with is Jason in outer space. Kubrick, it's not. KILL IT!

  • "Freddy vs. Jason" (2003). When Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child shows up, a "Policy Academy" marathon starts to sound real good. KILL IT!

    — Derek Paiva

    2. WATCH A SICKO WHO'S NOT JASON

    Wouldn't you know it? The only movie opening widely today — that is, the only movie willing to go up against the behemoth "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," which opened Wednesday — is a horror thriller, "Captivity."

    Elisha Cuthbert stars as a cover girl who's kidnapped and tortured by a sicko.

    Possible good luck: It's directed by Roland Joffe, who also did meaningful, non-Friday-the-13th films such as "The Killing Fields" and "The Mission."

    Possible bad luck: It wasn't made available for pre-opening reviews, which indicates the studio doesn't have much hope for it.

    But wait: There's an indie film that's also in town today. The title, "You Kill Me," seems appropriately Friday the 13th-ish, but alas, it's a comedy about a hit man.

    3. WATCH A MONSTER HIT

    Other dark themes for the 13th lurk in your friendly neighborhood multiplexes. The new Harry Potter film is the gloomiest yet, as the boy wizard and his pals combat ghostly dementors. Crazy Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) takes over Hogwarts school, and the sinister Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter) does the bidding of the most evil wizard of them all.

    Other monsters dwell on screen, too, but they're ridiculously unbelievable. We're talking "Transformers." (Bad robots!)

    4. SEARCH AND DESTROY IN 'THE DARKNESS'

    Video gamers: Think mobsters, demonic possession, revenge, gore — all that good stuff, and all in the charmingly titled "The Darkness," based on the comic-book series.

    Reviewer Marc Saltzman of Gannett News Service called it "an extraordinary action game," and pledges, "Gamers in search of a worthy shooter will find 'The Darkness' one of the finest games of the year thus far. The action is intense, the story and characters are memorable, it looks and sounds great, and there's a ton of solo and head-to-head game play to sink your fangs into."

    Available for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3; rated M for mature, of course.

    5. THE LIGHTS GO OUT, PART 1

    Corpses, life-and-death decisions, moral challenges. These are the dark and cloudy circumstances of "Antigone," an updated version of the Greek tragedy by Sophocles.

    Antigone (Elizabeth Wolfe) objects when one brother's body is left to rot, but her disobedience could seal her death. Downer!

    It continues at 7:30 p.m. today and Saturday and 4 p.m. Sunday at The Yellow Brick Studio, 625 Keawe St. Tickets are $15 general, $13 seniors, $12 students. 550-8457, www.honoluluboxoffice.com.

    6. DRESS TO KILL

    Back-to-school sales already? Oh, the horror!

    So clean out those closets today because the Fashionista's Back-to-School Clearance designer sample sale is happening from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at the Japanese Cultural Center of Hawai'i.

    They say they're "slashing" prices!

    Admission is $7 general, $3 Fashionista's members. www.fashionistasmarket.com.

    7. FEEL THE BURN

    Devilishly hot. We're talking not just the weather this weekend, but the kim-chee-eating contest scheduled for 12:20 p.m. Saturday at the Korean Festival, Kapi'olani Park.

    Thinking of entering? Prepare yourself with a visit to Palama Market (1210 Dillingham Blvd. and 1670 Makaloa St.) today and head for the kim-chee bar. Pay by the pound or the package for delights such as ... yummm ... garlic stems!

    The Korean Festival hours are from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Admission is free and there are free shuttles from and to Kapi'olani Community College.

    8. THE LIGHTS GO OUT, PART 2

    Dueling divas (sort of) will prevail when "You Somebody" premieres tonight at Diamond Head Theatre. It's a Lee Cataluna comedy, with songs by Keola Beamer.

    See who lucks out — and who falls down — in the quest for honor, glory and fame

    In one corner: Loretta Ables Sayre as Pua "Ma" Lusa; in the other, Angela Morales (of Na Leo) as Eloise Baga. Their families go at it from the starting bell.

    9. CREATE AN IPOD PLAYLIST OF THE TOP 13 SONGS ON JULY 13, 13 YEARS AGO

    You wanna talk more bad luck than good and, in a few cases, some serious bad taste? Download and listen again to the 13 most popular songs on Billboard's Hot 100 pop singles chart 13 years ago this week. All are available on iTunes.

    1. "I Swear" — All-4-One

    2. "Regulate" — Warren G feat. Nate Dogg

    3. "Any Time, Any Place" — Janet Jackson

    4. "Stay (I Missed You)" — Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories

    5. "Don't Turn Around" — Ace of Base

    6. "Back and Forth" — Aaliyah

    7. "Fantastic Voyage" — Coolio

    8. "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" — Elton John

    9. "Funkdafied" — Da Brat

    10. "If You Go" — Jon Secada

    11. "I'll Remember" — Madonna

    12. "You Mean the World to Me" — Toni Braxton

    13. "Wild Night" — John Mellencamp with Me'Shell NdegιOcello

    — Derek Paiva

    10. MAKE A 'FLESH' CRAWL

    Some might say it's always Friday the 13th at Galaxy nightclub's all-night-and-all-morning Flesh parties. Black clothing is a fashion standard. The music is primarily goth and industrial, with side orders of breakbeat, trance and house. The main dance floor is called the "Back Room of Doom." And the mass of semi-dangerous-looking Flesh patrons regularly milling outside Galaxy have likely caused many folks driving by on Kalakaua Avenue to reach for the power locks.

    The truth, though, is that Flesh is harmless. The Friday night weekly welcomes all — I've seen Rastafarians and a girl in pigtails with a Hello Kitty backpack. And the kids of all ages who stop by are generally pleasant — I've had more intelligent chats with random strangers at Galaxy than at any other club in town. Bad luck? Only if you hate Ministry and Bauhaus. 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., 1739 Kalakaua Ave., 18 and older.

    — Derek Paiva

    11. STUDY UP ON THE HARMONICA KINGS FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF CHICAGO BLUES

    That would be players like Junior Wells, Sonny Boy Williamson, Little Walter and Walter "Shakey" Horton.

    Then head for Hawaii Public Radio's Atherton Performing Arts Studio Saturday night 'round 7:30 p.m. for "Hoodoo Man Blues," a salute to these Windy City bad boys of the blues. Yeah, we know the Atherton is the furthest thing from a down-and-dirty blues joint. (No cold draft beer or crappy barbecue? Sacrilege!)

    But we have faith that vocalist/harpist Mark Prados and the Chris Vandercook Band (vocalist/guitarist Vandercook, bassist Vance Keever, drummer Alvin Cameros and guitarist Joey Wolpert) will try to bring at least some dive-bar raunch to their electric blues. Get in for $20 general, $17.50 HPR members, $10 students. 955-8821.

    — Derek Paiva

    12. THE LIGHTS GO OUT, PART 3

    With "Lapses of Identity" — premiering tonight at The ARTS at Marks Garage courtesy of the experimental performance-happy folk at Lizard Loft — you'll get two one-act comedies on the mysteries of the mind, with a bathroom break in-between.

    In "Off Key," a professor has a neurological affliction that causes her to see the faces of imaginary people where the real faces of her friends, colleagues and her spouse should be.

    In "Evil at the Post Office," a doctor brings patients with identical delusions of identity together hoping to force them back into reality; instead, he gets some surprising results.

    Both plays were written by Mark Tjarks — a scriptwriting, literature and film professor at Hawai'i Pacific University. Both are also based on real-life case studies of human identity lapses and their subsequent effect on interpersonal relationships.

    ROFL!

    8 p.m. today, Saturday, Sunday; $15 general, $10 students; 550-8457, www.honoluluboxoffice.com.

    — Derek Paiva

    13. FIND YOUR LUCKY CHARMS

    If you want lady luck to be on your side on this Friday the 13th, you might consider one of several good-luck items and trinkets:

  • Carrying a ti leaf might help, and isn't being green an "in" thing these days?

  • Haul out that lucky penny tutu willed you years ago.

  • Get that omamori dangling thing out of your car and tuck it in your pocket. If you don't have one, try Shirokiya and buy one. Or maybe you already have one attached to your purse or laptop bag?

  • If that ceramic frog brought good fortune in Las Vegas, this could be a day for another stroke of luck.

  • Put some Hawaiian salt in a little plastic sandwich bag — wards off evil.

  • Wild card: You'll be really lucky if you can find a four-leaf clover. Even a facsimile could do the trick.

    — Wayne Harada

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