A father's love is superior to any other kind of love. At least this is the view promoted in a number of the world religions, as it is claimed that there is no love greater than God's love and God is often times portrayed as a loving father.

This message is preached in some form every weekend in numerous churches, synagogues and temples across the state.

Being a father myself, I can understand and appreciate why the gods seek to pattern their love after a father's affection, for a father's love is a pure, selfless form of love. It also is a love that oftentimes involves a sacrifice — and the gods love sacrifices. Indeed, the Buddha gave up his only son, Abraham was willing to sacrifice his, Rama's father sent his son into exile, and God the father sent his to be killed.

A father's love, however, is different from God's love. Most fathers don't insist or demand to be the center of their children's world. They do not desire to dominate their children's lives. And fathers don't punish their children if the children love someone else other than or more than them. In fact, fathers raise their children and prepare them so that they can one day live without them. Herein lies a difference with the love of the gods: the one sacrificed is the father, not the child.

In our society, a father's love is subject to time and place restrictions. A mother can love her children openly, even publicly, hugging and kissing them even when they have become adults. She is lucky. A father can't do this, especially if he has a son. While I have a daughter and a son, I realize the hugs and kisses that I can openly give my 4-year-old son whenever I want to, be it in a supermarket or when picking him up from preschool, will one day too soon have to stop. The clerks and cashiers will stare, and as a teenager he probably won't even let me.

Mothers have it easy. Granted, a mother's love is special, but it is not on par with the love of a father. It is easy to love someone fully and completely when he, she, they love you in the same manner. Indeed, Jesus was not impressed by this type of love (Matthew 5:46). The greatest form of love, based on my own experience and supported by the great religions, is to love someone when that person doesn't love you in return in the same way. It is not necessarily unrequited love but close.

The real power of sacrifice, then, lies in the hopes that something more significant and meaningful becomes incorporated at the very same time that a loss takes place. For a father, this means that his love for his children does not diminish even as his role in their lives does. This is done in the hopes that their sense of identity and self-understanding of their worth in the world might grow. This valuable lesson I learned from my own dad.

It is often the case that a father comes in second place when it comes to the parent his children love the most. What is truly remarkable about this is that most fathers wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Jay Sakashita teaches religion at Leeward Community College. He hopes to be reborn as his children's mom.